Camp Griffin Christmas special
by Homeydaclown
Summary: Sequel to Camp Griffin, with Christmas/New Year's theme. Lazlo/Patsy/Penny pairings. Language. No flamming.
1. Chapter 1

Camp Griffin Christmas special

I don't own the _Camp Lazlo_ & _Family Guy_ characters. I only own Patsy's cousins, and other fan created characters and the Geoffery character is owned by _NBC_. The _Lakers, Bulls, _& other teams are owned by the _NBA_, and guest stars own themselves.

It was a cold, & snowy day at _Camp Griffin_. Some of the campers were playing winter games outside. Lazlo, Raj, & Clam was playing war with snowballs. "Take that, bin Laden!" Lazlo said as he threw a big snowball at Raj. "Curses! I'll get you, you non Islamic son of a bitch!" Raj teased as he threw a loaded snowball at Lazlo. "Down with _al-Qaeda_!" Clam shouted happily as he poured a tub of snowballs on them. "Hey! You're cheating!" Lazlo laughed. "Down with bin Laden!" Clam said. Just then a snowball hit Lazlo. It knocked him unconcious. He woke up five minutes later to see Edward laughing at him. "Ha! Ha! You just got _pwned_ motherfucka! Ha! Ha!" "W-What was in that snowball?" Lazlo asked. "It was cement, some rocks, and a brick." then Edward looked around. "Hey, where's your two bitches?" "You mean Raj & Clam? They're over there." Lazlo pointed out. "No you ass! I mean, your two mongooses." Edward sniffed. "You mean Patsy & Penny. I don't know. I haven't seen them since this morning. Don't be calling them 'bitches'. Just because you don't have a girl, doesn't mean that you can disrespect them!" Lazlo sniffed. "Why are you standing up for them?" Edward teased. "Do you love them?" Now everybody at camp knows that Lazlo loves Patsy & Penny to death, and everybody except Edward, knows that things are getting serious between the three of them. "Yes, I do. And if you speak badily about them again, **I'll drop kick your beaver tail ass back to the Bronx!**" Lazlo shouted. Everybody stopped what they were doing to look at Lazlo. "What?!" he hissed. They quickly went back to their activities. Lazlo, Raj, & Clam walked away. Edward was thinking to himself. _"God! I haven't seen that monkey so mad, since the time I made him hold his pee for a whole day."_

**_(Flashback)  
_**Lazlo was big & bloated. He had to use the bathroom. Edward was nearby drinking some soda.

Lazlo: E-E-Edward. D-Do you have t-t-to drink that s-s-s-soda?  
Edward: Yes, Lazlo. I'm thirsty!

Then Edward slipped his straw very slowily. This went on for thirty minutes.

Lazlo:(cross) **THAT'S IT! I'M TIRED OF HOLDING MY PEE! I'M GONNA GO PEE IN YOUR BED!  
**Edward: Hey, hey! What are you gonna do?  
Lazlo: I'm gonna pee in your cabin! Duh!

Edwards runs after Lazlo.

Edward: Lazlo, wait! Go pee in Chip & Skip's beds. They like sleeping in piss!  
Lazlo: Oh, go fuck yourself!

Then Lazlo knocked Edward square in the mouth, knocking out sereval teeth.  
**_(End Flashback)_**

Meanwhile at her cabin, Pasty & Penny was watching TV. They were underneath a couple of covers. "Damn, it's sure is cold today." Patsy said. "It's not as cold as the winters we have back at Detroit. The winters there are brutal!" Penny said. "Probably because you're near the great lakes." Patsy added. "Yeah. Those fuckin' lakes always gives us alot of snow." Penny sniffed. "Yeah, that 'lake effect' shit!" Pasty said. Penny got up from the bed. "Patsy, can I use your laptop?" "Sure." Patsy said. "Just let me unlock it first." After Patsy got her laptop, Penny started to type quickly. "Penny, what are you looking for?" Patsy asked her. "I'm lookin' for a Christmas present for Lazlo." Penny repliled. "Okay then. I'll leave you be. I'll just go and see what Lazlo's doing." Patsy said as she was putting on her coat.

At the lodge, Raj & Clam was playing pool with Peter, while Lazlo was watching. Peter, of course was trying to cheat. "Hey Raj. What's that over there?" Peter pointed out. "What's over there?" Raj said. Peter shot all the balls. "I don't see anything, Scoutmaster Griffin!" Raj sniffed. He turned around to see all the balls gone, and Peter laughing. "Sucker!" he teased. "Sometimes, I don't know why I even bother playing pool. I suck at it." Raj moaned. "Sucky pool player!" Clam said stupidly. "Hee! Hee! Hee! Even the little lizard agrees!" Peter teased. "Well, this game's over." Lazlo muttered. "I think, I'll go hang up some Christmas decorations." "Hi Lazlo." said a feminie voice. Lazlo turned to see Patsy. "Hi Patsy. Do you want to hang Christmas decorations in my cabin?" he asked her. "Of course, sweetie. I love to!" Patsy smiled. "Where's Penny?" Lazlo asked worriedly. "S-She's busy on my laptop, doing work." Patsy said. "Come on Lazlo. Those decorations aren't going to hang themselves."

Back at his cabin, Lazlo was on a ladder hanging up the decorations, while Patsy handed them to him. "I wonder if Mr. Griffin's gonna let us go to the mall and buy Christmas presents?" Patsy wondered outloud. "I hope so Patsy." Lazlo said. "I want to give you & Penny special gifts." "Oh Lazlo. That's so sweet." Patsy said as she blushed a bit. "I wonder if anybody else are hanging decorations?" Lazlo said as he hung up more decorations. "Probably." Patsy said. "I've heard Edward is gonna celebrate Hanukkah this year, and Cleveland is gonna celebrate Kwanzaa." "I never known Edward to be Jewish." Lazlo said. "Lazlo, you've been knowing Edward for years, and you didn't even know about his faith?" Patsy asked. "I did wonder why he wasn't eating pork anymore." Lazlo muttered. "Who cares? I hope things at Christmas run smoothly." "I hope so too, Lazlo. Especially what happened at Thanksgiving." Patsy muttered.

**_(Flashback)  
_**All of the campers were at the main table at the lodge. Some of them were watching the football game on the TV. Peter sat at the head-end of the table. He was drinking wine.

Peter:(a little bit drunk) M-Ms. Smiles, can you bring the turkey?  
Patsy: Sure, sir.

Patsy went into the kitchen. When she got to the kitchen, she was in for a shock of her life.

Patsy:(amazed) What the fuck!

She saw Quagmire had his dick inside of the turkey. Quagmire quickly looked up.

Quagmire:(embarassed) Uh, it's not what it looks like, Patsy!

Gretchen walked in.

Gretchen: Hey, Patsy! What's taking so long? I'm starving...

She looks at Quagmire.

Gretchen:(blushing) Oh! N-No wonder you're taking so long. Quaggie's havin' sex with the bird.

She walks closer to Quagmire.

Gretchen: Don't be wasting all your strength on the turkey. Waste all your strength on me!! _Giggity!  
_Quagmire:(throws turkey away) Okay! Let's go have sex! Giggity! Giggity!  
Patsy:(slaps her head) Oh for the love of god!

_**(End Flashback)**_

"I remember that day, Patsy." Lazlo said. "The fried chicken that you & Penny made was delicious." Patsy giggled. "Thanks Lazlo." Then Patsy pulled some mistletoe out, and held it above her head. "Oh Lazlo. Guess what I got?" Lazlo turned to see her holding the mistletoe. "I think you know what to do." Patsy said in a sexy voice. Lazlo nodded, and he dipped her back and gave her a passionate kiss. "Did you enjoy that?" Lazlo asked her. Patsy giggled & blushed a bit. "_Perfect answer_." Lazlo thought to himself. All of the decorations were up. "Thanks for helping me putting up the decorations, Patsy." Lazlo said. "Anytime Lazlo." Patsy said. "I gotta check on Penny now. See ya!"


	2. Chapter 2

Shopping for the perfect gift

Back at her cabin, Patsy found Penny watching TV. "Are you done with my laptop?" she asked. "Yep!" Penny said. "I think I found the perfect gift for Lazlo." Then she looked at Patsy's face. "I see you're blushing. Did you & him kissed _again_?" "Well, uh..." Patsy stuttered. "Uh huh." Penny said & smiled. "I see that you're trying to get your gift from Lazlo early." "No, I-I'm not!" Patsy said as she blushed. "Yeah, you are!" Penny egged. "Okay, so what?" Patsy sniffed. "Let's just forget about it for now." Penny said as she ran her fingers through her black hair. "How 'bout you do my hair?" "Ok." Patsy said. "I hope you got a few hours to kill, Penny." "I got all the time in the world, Patsy." Penny said as she laid her head back. "Just _be _careful!" "Don't worry, Penny. I'm always careful with hair. Just look at mine's." Patsy soothed. Penny quickly looked at Patsy's pink hair. "I s'pose you're right. Just wake me, when you're done." Penny sniffed.

Hours later, Patsy woke up Penny. "I'm done, Penny." "I-I'm afraid to ask how I look like." Penny sniffed. "I'll go get the mirror." Patsy said and left to get a mirror. "She probably made my hair pink just like hers. _Oh god!_ _That'll be awful!_" Patsy finally came back with a mirror. "Here you go." she said as she handed Penny the mirror. She gasped, and then turned to Patsy. "Patsy..." Penny paused and started to twitch a bit. Patsy wondered if Penny was mad at her. "**I LOVE IT!!**" Penny said as she grab a hold of Patsy. "You made me more beautiful than ever before!" she said as she hugged Patsy. "My hair's curly, bouncy, lighter, and shinier than ever! Thank you, Patsy!" "Anytime cousin! Anytime!" Patsy said as she struggled to breathe. Penny then realize that she was crushing her cousin. "Oh, s-sorry Patsy." she said. "T-That's okay, Penny. This isn't the first time, that someone almost crushes me!" Patsy muttered.

_**(Flashback)  
**_Patsy was working out at a gym one day. She was lifting weights.

Patsy:(lifting weights) 49, 50! There! Done with my excercises for the day, now time to rest in the spa!

Then a bald, muscle-bound sweating trainer walks up.

Trainer: Oi you! I think you need some more weight lifting!  
Patsy: What?  
Trainer: **YOU HEARD ME?! YOU NEED MORE WEIGHT LIFTING!!! STARTING NOW!  
**Patsy: But why?  
Trainer: **BECAUSE, YOUR MUSCLES ARE LIKE THOSE ON A PUNY MONGOOSE!  
**Patsy: But, I am a mongoose!  
Trainer:(yells in Patsy's face) **SHUT UP!!! START LIFTING THOSE WEIGHTS!  
**Patsy:(go back to lifting weights) Oh god!  
Trainer:(puts on more weights) **MORE WEIGHT!!!!!!! LIFT FASTER!!!!!!!**

Patsy's muscles starts to strain.

Patsy:I-I-I can't lift anymore!  
Nazi trainer:(yells in Patsy's face again) **SHUT UP & LIFT YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING, FUCKIN' SISSY ASS WEASEL!!!!!!**

He then puts on more weights. The weighty barbell landed on Patsy's throat. She was changing all sort of colors.

Patsy:(struggling to breathe) H-Help m-m-me!

One man who was watching all this unfold, came over to Patsy, and lifted the barbell off her throat.

Man: Are you okay, miss?  
Patsy:(changing back to her regular color) Y-Yeah. T-Thanks!  
Man:(turns to nazi trainer) Here you dropped this!

He drops the barbell on the nazi trainer.

Nazi trainer: **AGGGHHHH!!! YOU CALL THIS HEAVY!?! I CAN DO THIS ALL DAY!!!!!**

The trainer passes out.

Patsy: Fuckin' twat!  
_**(End Flashback)**_

"Hey, it's back snowing again!" Penny said. "Hey, do you wanna go outside & play in the snow?" Patsy asked her. Before Penny could answer, Stewie got on the PA. "I say, all of you imbelciles report to the lodge, right away!!!" "I guess Scoutmaster Griffin wants to see us." Penny said. "I wonder what he wants, now?" Patsy sniffed as she put on her coat. At the lodge everyone was talking all at once. Peter walks up. "Okay everybody shut up. Alright then, since we got nothing important to do. We're going to the mall to shop for some Christmas presents." "_What!? Again_!" said some one off-screen. "Hey!" Peter shouted. "Shut up! If some of you got a problem with it, then you can go play with the tank, that Gretchen & Quagmire barrowed from the U.S. Army." "Uh Peter, w-we d-didn't exactly b-barrow..." Quagmire stuttered. "Shut up!" Gretchen hissed as she elbowed him in the mouth. Peter was looking. "Ms. Gretchen, can you stop flirting with Quagmire? I know that you're in love with him and want to have sex with him, but please wait until the meeting is done." Everybody sniggered. "So anyway, the same rules apply. Don't drive my car! I can't stress that enough!" Peter said. "Yeah, yeah. _'Don't drive your car'_. Yeah, yeah. We know!" the campers said boredily as they put their coats back on. "Okay meeting's over! The ones that can drive, go to their cars. Everybody else, go to the bus." Peter called.

Outside, Lazlo was just kicking the snow. He was thinking outloud. "What to get Patsy for Christmas." he said as he kicked the snow. "I know! I could get her a fancy bracelet! Yeah, that's it!" Patsy & Penny walked up. "Hey Lazlo. Are you ready to go?" Patsy asked. "I'm sure am, Patsy!" Lazlo said excitedly. Then he looked at Penny. "Boy Penny, I like your new hairstyle." "Thanks Lazlo." Penny said as she giggled a bit. "Uh, who did it?" Lazlo asked. "I did." Patsy replied as she took out her keys. At the enterance, there was some of campers standing there waiting for Cleveland to bring the bus. They didn't want to be on a cold bus. "Dumbasses! It's a good thing that I'm riding with you." Lazlo said to Patsy. "Especially, since my cousin Rollo haven't return my car yet." "What does your cousin do anyway?" she asked as she unlocked her SUV 4x4. "Well, he's, he's,...uh..." Lazlo stuttered. "A gangster?" Patsy teased. "No not that! Well, yes. I think he's also a manager of a radio station or TV station somewhere in LA." Lazlo said. "Pretty neat!" Patsy said. "It sounds like something that Penny does." "What does she do?" Lazlo asked Patsy. "I think she's a award winning rap artist or a manager to the most popular radio/TV station in Detroit or some shit like that. I forgot which." Patsy muttered as she started the engine. "Wait Patsy! What about Penny?" Lazlo asked. "She's taking her ride with Raj & Clam." Patsy said. "Oh! I hope Clam doesn't fuck with her gadgets." Lazlo muttered. "I don't think he will, Lazlo. Because if he does, Penny'll fuck him up bad!" Patsy laughed.

_(Cut to Penny's SUV 4x4)  
_Clam was jumping up & down on the seats. As usual, he's hyped up.

Clam:(yelling)**TV! FUN!!! MALL!!! RIOTS!!!!! DRINK MORE COFFEE!  
**Penny:(turns her head) **SHUT THE FUCK UP!  
**Clam:(not noticing Penny) **YOUR MAMA!  
**Penny:(angry) **MUTHAFUCKA, WHAT DID YOU SAY?!  
**Clam:(shakes his fist at her) How would you like one across your lips?  
Penny:(laughs) I would like to see you do it! I'll _fuck_ you up!  
Clam: Do it then!! I'll rip your arm out of the socket, and beat your mongoose ass with it!  
Penny: Come on then!!!! **I'll knock you out!!!!!!!!**

She then gets out of her SUV. Clam did so also.

Raj: Uh guys, everybody's leaving!  
Penny: So? I know where the mall is, Raj. Now please let me whoop this bastard's ass!  
Raj:(backs away) Okay then.  
Clam: I'm gonna knock you out cold!  
Penny:(shouts)**BRING IT ON, MIDGET BOY!!**

Clam then started doing some fancy footwork, well he was jumping up & down. Penny started laughing.

Penny:(laughs) Come on, throw a punch!

Clam throws a punch at her. Penny swerved her head out the way, and Clam hit his hand against a frozen tree.

Clam: **OW!!!!!!** My hand!!!!  
Penny:(getting ready to throw punch) Okay, time to end this!!! Get prepared to be knocked out!!

She knocks Calm out. He was unconsicous.

Raj: Damn! You knocked the fuck outta him!  
Penny: Well, he had it comin'! Shut up, and throw his punk ass in the trunk!

Then they threw Clam in the trunk.Then Penny drove off.  
_(End cut)_

At the mall, everybody split up. Lazlo & Patsy was sitting at a bench. "I wonder where's Penny?" she asked. "Matter of fact, where's Raj & Clam?" Lazlo wondered. When Lazlo got done saying that, Penny & Raj walked in. "There you guys are!" Patsy said. "Sorry, but w-we had a flat." Penny lied. "Uh, _yes yes,_ _a flat!_" Raj said in an acting sort of way. "_A flat! We didn't hurt nobody!!_" "Where's Clam?" Lazlo asked. Raj couldn't take the pressure. "Okay! Okay! **WE DIDN'T HAVE A FLAT!!! PENNY BEAT UP CLAM!!!! HE'S IN HER TRUNK, UNCONSICOUS!!!!"** he cried. All of Raj's hollering got all the mall's patrons' attention. "**OI! SHUT THAT KID UP!!!**" shouted one of the patrons. "So?" Lazlo said. "Raj, you should know by now, that Clam gets his ass kicked everyday." Patsy sniffed. "Yeah, three times on Saturdays & twice on Sundays." Lazlo added. "Oh, I forgot!" the elephant said stupidly. "Well, come Penny. We've got shopping to do." Patsy said as she & Penny left. "How, could you forget that Clam get his ass kicked everyday!" Lazlo asked Raj. "I don't know, I'd just did." he answered. "Let's just forget about it, and shop for presents." Lazlo sniffed. "I need to go to the jewerly store." "Good idea, Lazlo." Raj said.

Peter was at the _Best Buy_. He was watching his favorite Christmas special, _'Kiss saves Christmas'_. A _Best Buy_ salesman walked up to him. "May I help you, sir?" "Uh, no thanks. I know how to watch TV." Peter said. "Sorry sir, but loitering isn't allowed." the salesman said. "But, but I'm not loitering!" Peter cried. "**I demand to see the manager!**" "I am the manager." the salesman said. "Oh." Peter muttered. "I think I'll take my TV watching elsewhere!" "That's fine with me! For now on, you're banned from this store!" shouted the manager as he took out a sign with Peter's face with a red slash. Meanwhile at jewerly store, Lazlo was looking at the bracelets. "_Mmmm! Which one suits Patsy?_" he wondered out loud. Then a jewerly salesman walks up to him. "Can I help you sir?" "Yeah, I'm looking for a bracelet." Lazlo said. "Which one would you like to see?" the salesman asked. "I would like to see something with real diamonds." Lazlo added. "Okay sir." the salesman said as he showed Lazlo some bracelets. "Oh my god! Look at all these bracelets!!" Lazlo awed. "Take your time to look through these, sir." the salesman said. Lazlo looked through all of the bracelets, until he found the right one. "This is it!!!" he said. "Okay sir. That'll be $90,000, please." the salesman said. "Damn!" Lazlo thought to himself as he got out his checkbook. "This'll be the most expensive thing I've brought since the time I brought that radio station."

_**(Flashback)**  
_Lazlo was the manager & one of the DJs for the radio staion, HIGH-FM. He was sipping his coffee, plus the room he was in was very smokey.

Lazlo:(coughing) Hello, listeners. _(Hack!)_ Pardon me! You're listening to, _'Crazy Lazlo's old school evening commute'_! This program is brought to you in part by, _(Hack! Hack!)_ Pardon me! _'Martin's chicken shack'_. Come on in now, to get their barbecued chicken _(hack! hack!)_ wings. The wings are served in a spicy _(hack!)_ sauce, with fries and _(hack!)_ slaw!!

Lazlo's coughing gets worst & worst.

Lazlo:(trying to cough up a lung) This had been Crazy Lazlo. _(hack! hack! cuff! hack!)_ **Signing off!!** _(cuff! cuff! hack! cuff!)_ I-I'll see ya when I see ya! _(cuff! cuff! hack! hack!)_ I'm sorry!! _(cuff! hack! hack! cuff!)_

He then turns to his assistant.

Lazlo:(still coughing) C-Can you take o-over? I-I can't take it, anymore!  
Assistant: Sure.

The assistant soon got in Lazlo's seat. Lazlo left the building.

Lazlo: Buying this radio station was a waste of my hard-earned cash! It looks like I have to go back to being a nobody.

Then he thought of something.

Lazlo: Maybe I don't have to go back to being a nobody. Maybe I can still be a somebody! It's time to take a trip to California!  
_**(End Flashback)**_

Lazlo wrote out the check. "Thank you sir." the salesman said. "Have yourself, a happy holiday." Meanwhile, Patsy & Penny was at a sports clothing store. Patsy was looking at the jerseys. "Mmm. I wonder what Lazlo wants for Christmas." she wondered. Then she looked at some shirts. "I can get him some _FUBU_ shirts." While Patsy was getting some _FUBU_ shirts, Penny was looking at around. "Shit! They don't got any _FUBU Fat Albert_ shirts!" she sniffed. "Looks like I have to look elsewhere." Soon Patsy paid for the clothes, and was ready to leave. "Patsy, can we go to some other store? I still need to buy something for Lazlo." Penny asked. "Of course, Penny." Patsy said. Lazlo sat down on the bench. "_I wonder if Patsy & Penny got their presents yet?_" he wondered. Brain soon walked up. "Hello Lazlo. Did you do your shopping yet?" "Yep." Lazlo said. Then he looked at the bags in Brain's hands. "I see that you've done a whole lot of shopping." "Yeah. Most of this is Peter's stuff. The greaseball went back to eat all the food in the food court, again." he sniffed. Then he got up & left. At _Finish Line_, Penny was looking at some shirts. "Ah ha! There's the Fat Albert _FUBU_ shirts." she said as she got a couple of the shirts. "Okay. All I need to get Patsy a _mp3 player_, and Lazlo a new dvd player." she said as she payed for the shirts.

Little bit later, Lazlo finally met Penny & Patsy. "It's about time you guys finally showed up." he teased. "We have to go to 5 stores." Patsy panted. "And there's a whole lot of people shopping also." Penny added. "Oh. I wonder what everbody else's doin'?" Lazlo wondered. "Who knows? They all probably at the sports bar, loitering again." Patsy said. "I doubt that, Patsy." Penny said. "I've heard that the manager of the sports bar will shoot anybody that's loitering in front of his restaruant now." "So that means, that they probably still shopping or at the food court with Scoutmaster Griffin." Lazlo said. "Let's get something to eat." "Who's gonna pay?" Penny asked. "I was gonna pay, but the present I brought drained me out." Lazlo muttered. "And the stuff I brought from _Best Buy_, made me broke." Penny said. "I'll pay." Patsy said. On the way to the food court, they bumped into Stewie & Nina. "I say, giraffe. It's that Patsy, hip hop girl, and what's-his-name. Did you guys went just come from that hippie store?" "Come on, Stewart." Nina said. "They were just minding their own business." "_Stewart_." Penny teased in a sing-song voice. The others laughed at the baby. "**Shut up!!**" Stewie sniffed. Lazlo, Patsy, & Penny left, still laughing. Stewie turned sharply to Nina. "Listen here, giraffe. I **REALLY** hate my **FULL NAME**!!!! Now remember that for next time, if that name ever pops into that head of yours.** UNDERSTAND!?!**" "Yeah, whatever." Nina said, not really paying attention to him. "Why do I even bother!!!" Stewie sniffed.

After Lazlo, Patsy, & Penny got something to eat, it was time to go. "Okay everyone." Peter said. "It's time to go." Then he turned to Cleveland. "Is everyone here?" Cleveland looked at all of the campers. "Everbody's here, except Quagmire. I think he's still at the sex toy store." "Oy vey!" Peter groaned. "It looks like I have to go get him." "Uh, scoutmaster Griffin. Can I go get him?" Gretchen asked. "Yeah, go ahead. Just don't be late gettin' back to camp." Peter said. "I see you're gonna get some giggety from _Mr. Heh! Heh! Alright!_" Patsy teased. "_Shut the fuck up!!_" Gretchen hissed as she ran to get Quagmire. "She'll probably be back at camp around bedtime." Nina said. "Maybe." Patsy said. "I doubt it." Penny added. "I say!" Stewie sniffed. "Less talky, more walky!" Peter said as he pushed them.

Back at camp, it was getting dark. "Damn! It's only 4:30, and it's already gettin' dark." Patsy said as she got out of her SUV. "That's one of the reasons that I like winter." Lazlo said. "Hell, it starts getting dark around 3:30 back at Detroit." Penny said. "It must be about to snow again." Lazlo added. Then he turned to Patsy. "You're gonna like the present I got you, Patsy." "Is it pretty?" she asked him. "Yes, it is." "Was it expensive?" she asked again. "It _sure _was." Lazlo said weakily. "_I can't wait to see it!_" Patsy exclaimed. Then she left. "Uh, so what did you get her?" Penny asked Lazlo. "Penny, promise me that you're not gonna tell Patsy." he said sternly. "I promise." she said. "Okay then. I brought her a bracelet." Then he showed Penny the bracelet. "Oohh, Lazlo. It's so pretty!" she awed. "Yes it is. It costed me every penny." Lazlo said. "Patsy's so lucky to get such a pretty gift!! I can't wait to see the look on her face!!" Penny said excitiedly. "So, what do you wanna do?" Lazlo asked. "I think I'll chill with Patsy until dinnertime." Penny said. "And you?" "I was about to play Iraqi snow war, with Raj & Clam." Lazlo said. "Uh, Lazlo. You do know that Clam's still unconsicous in my ride?" Penny asked. "Yeah." he said. "How are you gonna play without a third person?" she asked. "Well, I'll just ask anybody if they want to play." Lazlo said happily, as he ran to his cabin.

Meanwhile back at the mall, Gretchen was at the sex toy store. "Quaggie! Quaggie!" she called. Quagmire was getting his toys gift wrapped, when Gretchen walked up. "Gr-Gretchen, w-what are y-you doing here?" Quagmire said nervously. "It's time to go back to camp." she said. Then she looked at the gifts."Are those gifts for me?" "Uh, y-yes a-and n-no." he stuttered, then he recovered. "Okay, grab my keys." Gretchen got his car keys. "So, what did you buy me, Quaggie dear?" "Wait & see! It's gonna be pretty good." Quagmire said as he put the gifts in his car. Then he turned to her. "What did you get me?" he asked. "Oh! Um, j-just wait & see." Gretchen stuttered. "_Damn! I forgot to get him something!! I haven't felt so pissed off since the time I drank that engery drink!_"

_**(Flashback)  
**_Gretchen is watching TV. A _Gatorade _commerical comes on.

Announcer: Are you tired of drinking boring old water when you're out playing on the ball court? Are you tired of being weak on the football field? If so, then try _Gatorade_. This engery drink will power you up. If you don't believe me, just ask celebrity spokesman, Tracy McGrady.

McGrady: Before I tried this, my game sucks. But now my game is better than ever before.  
Announcer: That's right, if Tracy McGrady drinks this, so should you! _Gatorade: is it in you?  
_Gretchen: I think I'll go buy some.

_(Later)  
_Gretchen is outside. She's playing football with Quagmire & Patsy. She's also was sweating.

Gretchen:_(Pant! Pant!)_ Losing strength! Need to be recharged!

She pulls out a bottle of _Gatorade_, and drinks it.

Gretchen: **This shit tastes awful!!!!!**

She spits it out.

Gretchen:(pissed off) That fuckin' shit is nasty!!! **It's no wonder the NBA's startin' to suck, because of this shit!!** **I want my money back!!**

Tracy McGrady pops out of nowhere.

McGrady: Too bad, she didn't read the fine print. _'Does not work on Alligators'_. What a sap!  
_**(End Flashback)**_

It is 9:30 now. Some of the campers are getting ready to go to bed now. Lazlo, Patsy,& Penny was watching TV in the lodge. They were watching the movie, _'The Player's Club'_. "Oh shit!" Lazlo shouted."That Lisa Raye sure has sexiest swerves I have ever seen!" Patsy cleared her throat. "Uh, it's the third sexiest swerves I have ever seen." Lazlo smiled nervously at Patsy. "That's better." Patsy said. Then he turned to Penny. "Penny, did you let Clam out of your 4x4?" "Yeah, Lazlo. I did." Penny said boredily. Then she yawned & got up. "Well, I think I'll turn in." "Good night, Penny." Patsy said. "Sweet dreams, Penny." Lazlo said in a sing-song voice. After Penny left, Patsy sat on Lazlo's lap. "So Lazlo." she said switching to a sexy voice. "What are the two _sexiest_ swerves that you've ever seen?" "Well, Penny's the second." Lazlo said. "And the first is..." then he looked at Patsy. She was smiling at him. "The first is...uh..." he stuttered and started blushing. Patsy saw Lazlo blush and put her face closer to his. "_Mine's_?" she asked in a sexy voice. "Y-Yeah!" Lazlo said as he was sweating from nervousness and turning red from embarassment. Patsy giggled. "I _do_ have a nice ass, _don't I_?" "Y-Yeah!" Lazlo said, sweating more & more. "You love me, _don't you Lazlo_." Patsy said, still in a sexy voice. "Y-Y-Yeah, P-P-Patsy!!" Lazlo said getting redder. "**I want to** **eat you up!**" she shouted, and grabbed his head. "_Kiss me, Lazlo baby!_" Lazlo did as Patsy told him. This passionate kiss lasted for 5 minutes, then Lazlo got back up. "**Damn!** That felt good, Patsy!!" he said. Patsy giggled seductively. "That's just one of my presents for you." she said. "It is?" Lazlo asked. Patsy nodded. "**I can't wait for the rest of my presents from you!**" he exclaimed as he got up. "I think I'll hit the hay. I know what I'm gonna dream tonight!" "What?" Patsy asked. "That kiss." Lazlo whispered. Patsy giggled a bit. "Good night, sweetie." "Good night, my goddess." Lazlo said as he left the lodge. "Lazlo, wait!" Patsy called. "What?" he asked. "You left your coat. It's still snowing out." "I don't need my coat, Patsy. I-I'm still kind of hot & sweaty!!" Lazlo said. "Oh. Well good night then." Patsy said, as Lazlo went back to his cabin. After Lazlo left, Patsy put on her coat, and locked up the lodge. On her way to her cabin, Patsy thought a bit. "_I like the way I was flirting with Lazlo, tonight! Maybe I'll do something like that, tomorrow! Maybe if_ _I keep flirting with him, maybe he'll give me my present early!_" she thought as she walked into her cabin.

Gretchen & Nina was already fast asleep, Penny was not. "I see that you kissed Lazlo again." she teased as Patsy entered. "How do you know?" Patsy asked as she took off her coat & hat. "Your tail is wagging at bit!" Penny teased. Patsy turned around to see that Penny was right. "Oh damn!" she sniffed. "Do your tail always wag after you kiss him?" Penny asked. "N-No, I don't think so?" Patsy answered as she put on her nightgown. "Uh huh." Penny said. "Patsy look at me in the eye, and say that!" Patsy looked into Penny's eyes. "Okay, it wags a _bit_ sometimes after I kiss him!! _Is that a crime?_" she asked. "No, but not tellin' your cousin the truth is!" Penny said as she got up from her bed. "You know the penalty for that?" "Oh no! _Not that!_" Patsy cried. Penny put Patsy in a headlock and started giving her a noogie. "My noogies!!" Penny laughed. "**No! Stop! Y-You're messin' up my hair!**" Patsy giggled as she was trying to get loose from Penny's tight ass grip. "Your hair is gonna get fucked up anyway!! Besides, you know you _like_ this!!" Penny said. They both fell onto Patsy's bed. Patsy was trying to grab something to hit Penny with. She grabbed a pillow that was nearby. She hit Penny with it, and Penny let her go. "Now you're gonna pay for fucking up my hair!" Patsy said as she hit Penny with the pillow again. "You want a pillow fight? **Well you got one!**" Penny said as she grabbed another pillow. The two cousins started fighting. They was having fun. All of the giggling & laughing woke up Gretchen. "**WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOIN'?!? I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP!!!!!**" she shouted. "Shut the fuck up, & join in!!!" Penny said as she threw a pillow at her. Gretchen grabbed the pillow. "**You gonna die!!**" she said as she hit Penny. "**No, you both are!!**" Penny said as she got three more pillows. "**Oh shit!!**" Patsy shouted. "Cheatin' bitch!!" Gretchen sniffed. "I heard that!!" Penny said as she hit Gretchen hard. All of the noise woke Nina up. "What's goin' on here?" she asked. "We're havin' a pillow war!" Penny said. "Can I join?" "Sure!" Patsy said as she hit Penny again. "Anyone can!!" Quagmire suddenly popped out of nowhere. "Can I join in?!?" "Sure you can, Quaggie." Gretchen said. "You can be on my team." "Heh! Heh! Heh! Alright!" he said as he got a pillow. So they fought each other all night long, well until midnight anyway.


	3. The Ski trip

The Ski trip

It was the next morning. It had snow during the night, and everything was covered in white. Peter was already up. He was drinking his morning coffee, while watching the morning weather. "**It's gon'a snow!!!!**" said Ollie Williams the black weatherman. "Hee!Hee!Hee! I like that Ollie Williams. He's funny!" Brain walks in. "Good morning, Peter. Have you seen Quagmire? He's suppose to shovel the walks today." "Uh, I don't know. Maybe he's in Ms. Smiles' cabin, sleeping with his woman." Peter teased. "Probably." Brain said. "He's been sleeping with her a whole lot lately." "Yeah, so? What's wrong with that?" Peter asked as he sipped some more of his coffee. "Well, she's...Oh why even bother? Okay Peter, _I'll_ shovel the walks." Brain groaned. Peter looked at the dog with a strange look. "I-I was gonna tell you to get either Cleveland, Joe, or one of the campers to shovel the walks, but since you volunteered, go ahead then." Brain walked crossly out of Peter's house.

At Lazlo's cabin, Lazlo, Raj, & Clam was up. Lazlo was watching the morning news, Raj & Clam was putting their coats on. "Come Lazlo, me & Clam about to go out and play in the fresh fallen snow." Raj said. "Uh, no thanks. I lefted my coat in the lodge." Lazlo said. "You guys go ahead." "I think his _woman_ got his coat, Clam!" Raj whispered to Clam. "**Lovers!!!**" Clam shouted. "Morons!" Lazlo sniffed. "I hope Patsy comes with my coat soon, I want to play in the snow!" Meanwhile at Patsy's cabin, Patsy was waking up. "Uh, what h-happened last night?" she said as she coughed up a few feathers. Penny was already up. "I beat yo' ass in the pillow war last night!" she teased. "_You_? Beat me?" Patsy asked. "Yeah!" Penny said. "You & Nina eventually got tired, and my team whooped your asses!" Patsy sat up. "What time is it?" Penny looked at her watch. "It's almost 8." "Damn! I bet Lazlo's up now! I better get dressed!" "Why are you rushin' for Patsy?" Penny asked. "Well, I've got to unlock the lodge. He lefted his coat in there last night, so I have to open up the lodge, get his coat, and bring it back to him." she explained. "Oh!" Penny muttered. "I see you're rushin' out to get a little Lazlo in yo' day!" "Ha! Ha! Very Funny, Penny!" Patsy sarcastically said as she put on her coat.

Few minutes later, Patsy was at the lodge. She was looking around for Lazlo's coat. "Where's the fuckin'..." Then she saw Lazlo's coat. "Ah! There it is!" she exclaimed as she grabbed the coat. "Now to give my Lazberry his coat!" Back at Lazlo's cabin, Lazlo was now listening to his CDs. "It's so peaceful in here without that pain-in-the-ass Clam, and that whiny baby Raj!" he said. Then a thought popped into his head. "There's only one thing that'll make this peaceful moment better, and that is..." Then there was a knock on his cabin door. Lazlo got up and answered it. It was of course, Patsy. "Good morning, Lazlo sweetie." she said in a sexy voice. "Good morning to you too, _sexy_!" Lazlo said. "I've got your coat, dear." she said as she had Lazlo's coat on her arm. "Thanks Patsy." he said as he took his coat. "Uh, would you like to come in?" "Sure, baby." Patsy said, as she walked in. "Do you want to watch TV?" Lazlo asked as he turned on his TV. "Sure." Patsy said as she sat on Lazlo's bed. Of course, there was nothing on. "Well, do you want to talk?" Patsy asked. "Yes!" Lazlo exclaimed. So they chatted the morning away. It was almost 10:30, when Peter got on the PA. "Attention campers. Attention campers. We all are going to the mountains to ski, so get your skis & winter gear, and meet us at the enterance." "Well, it looks like we're goin' on a ski trip!" Lazlo said getting up from the bed. Patsy looked at the clock. "We've been talking for two & a half hours!" "It doesn't feel like it has been two hours." Lazlo said as he was putting on his coat. "I haven't talked that long since the time I dranked all that tea at my UK cousin, Elizabeth's house." Patsy said.

_**(Flashback)  
**_It was 4:00 at London, England. Everyone in England stops what they are doing, to have tea. This included many visitors that visited the country. Patsy was sitting in a fancy chair reading the London newspaper, when a mongoose with Magenta colored hair, wearing a tiara, & wearing a white dress walks in.

Elizabeth: I say, Patsy. It's time for tea.  
Patsy:(looks up from newspaper) What?  
Elizabeth: It's time for tea, old bean.  
Patsy: D-Do I have to drink it at the table with you?  
Elizabeth: Well, you don't have to, since you're a guest here.

She then turns her head.

Elizabeth: Geoffery! Bring in the tea!!

A thin, gray-haired black man walks in with a cart.

Geoffery: Yes, Ms. Smiles?  
Elizabeth: Serve us the tea please, Geoffery.  
Geoffery: Yes, ma'am.

So Geoffery pours the tea in three cups. Patsy was watching.

Patsy: Uh, Liz. Why do Geoffery got three cups?  
Elizabeth: Don't be so daft, Patsy. Everyone in London take a break to drink tea. Even butlers, maids, & chefs.  
Patsy: Oh.  
Geoffery:(hands Patsy her cup) Want some biscuits with it, Ms. Patsy?  
Patsy: N-No thanks.  
Elizabeth: No Patsy, dear. Biscuits here are what you americans call; 'cookies', or 'sweets.  
Patsy: Oh. Okay Geoffery, I would like some.  
Geoffery: Would you like some cream or some sugar with your tea, Ms. Patsy?  
Patsy: No thanks.  
Elizabeth: I say, Patsy old chap. Lemon tea here in London is way different than it is in America.  
Patsy:(sips some of her tea) Don't worry, Liz. I can handle it.

Elizabeth & Geoffery exchanged confused looks, then drunk their tea. After sereval more cups & pots of tea, without the cream or sugar, Patsy was talking more & more & a little bit faster than normal.

Patsy:(using a stereotypical British accent) Eye soy, tis tee iz bloody delicious!! Eye want some 'ore, Geoffery! Eye want some 'ore!  
Geoffery: Uh, there's isn't any more, Ms. Patsy.  
Patsy:(still in stereotypical british accent) Oh kay, give me some 'ore of 'ese biscuits then, ol' chap!

Then she turned to Elizabeth.

Patsy: Oy say, Lizzie. Did eye 'ell ewe about me crush back in da states? His name iz Lazlo. He's 'ery sexy, ol' bean!  
Elizabeth: Uh, Geoffery. Can you get a _Pepsi_ for Ms. Patsy, please?  
Geoffery: Yes ma'am.

He soon comes back with a can of _Pepsi _& a glass with ice.

Geoffery:(hands Elizabeth the soda & cup) Here you go, ma'am.  
Elizabeth: Thanks Geoffery.

She pours the soda into the cup, and gives the cup to Patsy.

Elizabeth: I say, Patsy old bean. Here's something to drink, and I think it'll be a wise thing for you to drink it right away.  
Patsy: Alrioght thin!! Eye drink it!!

She drinks the _Pepsi _and passes out. She wakes up a few minutes later.

Patsy:(holding her head) W-What happened? Why my head throbbing?  
Elizabeth: Because, you drunk the tea without any sugar or cream, old chap.

Geoffery: That's what happens when you drink London's lemon tea without the cream or sugar, it'll make you talk in a seterotypical british voice & make you talk faster, Ms. Patsy.

Patsy: L-Liz, can you give me one of those biscuits, I mean cookies, I mean...you know.  
Elizabeth:(got saucer of biscuits/cookies) Sure thing, old bean.

Patsy eats the cookie, and falls asleep.  
_**(End long flashback)**_

Everyone was at the enterance to the camp. "Okay everyone." Peter called. "Once we get to the ski resort, we're gonna split up. So I'm telling you now, that if you get lost don't bother coming back to camp. If you miss the bus, don't bother coming back!" "D-uh, hopefully we get lost Skip!" Chip said to his brother stupidly. "Yeah!" Skip said. "I want to see the world." "Shut the fuck up, and get your funky asses in the humvee!" Edward sniffed. Patsy was putting the ski equipment in her 4x4. "Lazlo, do you want to be _my_ ski partner?" she asked in a sexy voice. "Sure!!!" Lazlo exclamied excitedly. "Perfect!" Patsy said to herself. Clam & Raj was getting into Penny's 4x4. Clam was a bit afraid to after yesterday's incident. "Come on Clam, get in." Penny sniffed. "Promise Clam won't get hurt!!!" Clam cried. "I promise you won't get beat up, or hurt unless you fuck up my gadgets." Penny said. "**Okay!!**" Clam said happily as he jumped into the SUV.

At the ski resort, everyone spilt up. "So Patsy, what do you want to do first?" Lazlo asked as he took the skis out of the 4x4. "Well, how 'bout we go skiing then go to the lodge and sit in front of the fire?" Patsy asked. "Okay." Lazlo said, and they went to the slopes. Meanwhile, Penny was at the lodge with Cleveland, Brain, & Stewie. "I say, hip hop girl. What are you doing here?" the baby asked her. "Well Stewie, all of the cool hip people stay in the lodge, while all of the douches ski." Penny explained. "Uh huh." Stewie said, then a thought popped into his head. "I say, how about that Patsy & that Lazlo. They're out there skiing. Does that make them douches?" "No, I also meant that if you ski first & then come into the lodge later, you're cool & hip. If you ski for the whole time without goin' in, dat'll make you a total douche." Penny laughed nervously. "So you're trying to say that if you ski for the whole time, that means that you're a total geek!" Stewie said. Penny nodded. "Wait! What about you come in here first, then go out & ski. What are you cool or not?" the baby asked. "Fo' the love of god!" Penny said as she slapped herself in head. "I haven't felt so frustrated since the time I tried to teach Judge Hatchett to act black!"

_**(Flashback)  
**_Penny was at Judge Hatchett's house. She was sitting down rubbing her head in frustration.

Penny: Listen Hatchett, for the last time; it's _"Hey muthafucka, that's my Ho! Leave da skank alone, before I put a cap in yo' ass!"  
_Judge Hatchett: Okay. Hey motherfucker, that's my woman! Leave the lady alone, before I call the police to have your troublemaking butt arrested!  
Penny: No! No! No! Dammit!  
Hatchett: Girls your age should not curse, it's not ladylike.  
Penny:(growls) Let's do this again, shall we? _"Tyra Banks is whack!! 50 cent is down with da 'hood"  
_Hatchett: Tyra Banks is neat! 50 cents is down with the neighborhood!  
Penny: **NO!!!!!  
**Hatchett: What do you mean, 'No'? I say it quite right. I thought _'whack'_ means; _'good'_?  
Penny: It does!! Except when you're talkin' about somethin' negative, like Tyra Banks.  
Hatchett: Tyra Banks is the perfect black woman. We need more blacks like her & me, and need to get rid of blacks like your Tupacs, 50 cents, Dave Chappelles, & Allen Iversons. And need to get rid of that god awful rap music, that has been a negative stereotype of blacks for 20 some years!

Penny:(ready to burst a blood vessel) **_THAT'S DA STUPIDEST SHIT I'VE EVER HEARD!! SEE THAT'S WHY BLACKS ARE NOT WATCHIN' YO' CRAPPY SHOW, BECAUSE OF CRACKS LIKE THAT!! I HOPE YO' SHITTY ASS COURT SHOW GETS CANCELLED, AND I HOPE YO' FANCY HOUSE GET REPOSSED, THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO SLEEP IN THE FUCKIN' STREET!!!!!!!_**

She packs up and leave. Hatchett walks up to the door.

Hatchett: **DON'T EVER COME BACK, YOU JIVE TURKEY!  
**Penny:(picks up rock) **Ah, fuck off!!!**

She throws rock at Hatchett's face. The rock hit Hatchett in the face. She runs inside, crying.

Penny: Fuckin' biatch!!!!!  
**_(End Flashback)_**

Outside, Peter & Quagmire was sitting on the ski lift. Peter was drinking his soup. "So Quagmire, did you enjoyed your night with the ladies?" he teased. "W-What do you mean?" Quagmire stuttered. "You know." Peter egged. "Oh that! W-Well, that was j-just a game we was playing, Peter." he muttered. "Uh huh!" Peter said. "Well, this is my stop!" Quagmire said as he jumped off the lift. "I see, that you're eager to ski." Peter said. Then he thought a bit. "Wait! He's not going to ski, he's probably gonna see his woman. Well fuck him, I can have fun without him!" Peter sniffed. Down below, Lazlo was having the time of his life. "Wheeeheee! This is fun, Patsy!" he shouted. "Tell me about it!" Patsy also shouted. Soon they met Joe, Raj & Clam. "Hey Lazlo, are you havin' fun?" Raj said mockingly, as he knew that Lazlo was with Patsy. "Yes, I'm havin' fun!" Lazlo said. Raj & Clam laughed. "It's not that type of fun, bastards!" Lazlo sniffed. "Giggity!" Clam said. "Okay that's enough you two." Joe sniffed. "Okay, listen Lazlo. Up ahead there's a fork in the trail. Make sure you take the right fork." "Thanks, Mr. Swanson." Lazlo said, and he & Patsy left. "Hey, is the coast clear?" Joe asked Raj. "Yes, they're gone, Mr. Swanson." he said. "Good! Did you look at the expression on Patsy's face?" Joe laughed. "Yeah! Lovey dovey!" Raj laughed. "**Lovebirds**!" Clam shouted. "I think they're looking for a quiet place to have sex!" Joe said. Raj & Clam laughed. "Come fellows, let's get warmed up in the lodge." Joe said. "That'll be a wise thing." Raj said. "Fish & Chips!!" Clam said stupidly.

Soon, Lazlo & Patsy came up to the folk in the trail. Lazlo had a confused look on his face. "Uh Patsy, which one did Mr. Swanson told us to take?" Patsy knew the right way, and she knew that this was the chance to get information about her gift from Lazlo. "I think he said to take the_ left_ one!" she lied. "Okay then!" Lazlo said happily. "_Perfect!_" Patsy chuckled to herself. It seemed like hours before they reached the end of the trail. It had started back snowing again. "Uh Patsy. I think we took the wrong fork." Lazlo whispered. "I know, Lazlo." Patsy said in a sexy voice. "But why did you tell me to take this way?!" he angrily demanded. "B-Because, I-I wanted to s-spend more time t-talkin' to y-you." Patsy said on the verge of tears. Lazlo felt bad for yelling at her. "I'm sorry, Patsy. I didn't mean to make you cry. How 'bout we go back to the lodge, and find a quiet spot to talk?" Patsy stopped crying. "Okay, honey." It temporary stopped snowing. "Good! It stopped snowing." Lazlo said. "This'll make it easier to follow our tracks!"

Meanwhile back at the lodge, Penny was sitting drinking cocoa. "I wonder what Patsy & Lazlo are doin'?" she wondered. Gretchen & Quagmire walked up. "Well, well, well. It's the lovebirds." "Shut up, Penny!" Gretchen sniffed. "I was just teasin' Gretchen!" Penny laughed. "I don't mind the teasing, Gretchen dear." Quagmire said. Gretchen looked sharpily at Penny. "Listen Smiles, I expect that kind of shit from Patsy, but not from you. If you do that teasin' shit again, I'll, I'll..." "You'll do nothin'!!" Penny teased. "Let's just forget about it!!" Quagmire sniffed as he pushed Gretchen away. Lazlo & Patsy walked up. "Hi Patsy, Hi Lazlo. Are you guys enjoyin' yo' day together?" Penny asked in a sing-song voice. "Yes, we are Penny." Lazlo said. Penny turned to Patsy. "So Patsy, are you gonna do that thing to Lazlo, today?" "W-What are you talkin' about?" Patsy asked. "_You know_?" Penny giggled. "Penny, _shut up_!" Patsy hissed. "Come on Patsy, let's go." Lazlo pleaded.

After they took off their coats, and got some warm drinks, Patsy & Lazlo was looking for a quiet place to talk. That was more easy said then done. They kept bumping into the others. They finally found a quiet out-of-the-way place to sit at. "Here's a quiet, comfty spot." Lazlo said. "Yeah, it's also away from those bastards." Patsy added. They sat down. "What was that 'thing' that Penny reminded you, Patsy?" Lazlo asked. "That was Penny being silly, Lazlo." Patsy said. "Mind if I sit on your lap?" "Sure, go ahead." Lazlo said as he sipped his drink. So she did. "So what do you want to talk about?" "Well, I want to talk about my Christmas present, Lazlo dear." Patsy said in a sexy voice. "Sorry Patsy, I-I can't." Lazlo stuttered. "_Damn_!" Patsy thought to herself. "_I'll get this monkey to tell me my present, one way or the other!!!_" "It's a great present, Patsy!" Lazlo said. "It is?" she asked. "Yes." "Okay then." Patsy said as she got closer to Lazlo's face. "Uh, Patsy, w-what are you doing?" he stuttered. "I'm just lookin' at ya." she said as she touched his face. Lazlo started to get all sweaty & nervous again. Patsy was seeing this. "Did I tell you that I like my men hot & sweaty?" she asked in a sexy voice. "N-No P-P-Patsy." Lazlo stuttered again. "Well, I do." Patsy said. Lazlo's heart was beating faster & faster. Patsy got more into his lap, and closer to his face. "I love hot, sweaty, & sexy men. Especially if their name's Lazlo." she said in an erotic voice. "I-I think, I'm gonna faint!!!" Lazlo squeaked. Patsy kissed him. "So are you gonna tell me about my present? Or do I have to get _rough_ with you?" "Okay! Okay! I'll tell you about your present, Patsy." Lazlo said sadly. "It's a diamond bracelet." When Patsy heard what Lazlo got her, she smiled the biggest smile that Lazlo had ever seen. "Oh Lazlo baby, thank you!!!" she said as she hugged him tight. "You're welcome." Lazlo said groomily. Patsy stopped hugging and looked at him. "What's wrong, sweetie?" she asked. "Y-Your present was suppose to be a surprise." Lazlo said. "I wanted to see the look on your face, when you open it on Christmas morning." "Don't worry, dear. I'll act like I'm surprised. Even though you told me already." Patsy soothed. "You will?" Lazlo asked. "Yes, honey. I'll do a good acting job just like Alec Baldwin, except without the liquor & drugs." Patsy said.

Later, it was almost 4:30. Most of the campers grew bored of skiing, and they were sitting in the lodge drinking cocoa & coffee. Most of them started playing dice. Lazlo decided that he wanted to go skiing one more time. Penny & Patsy was sitting chatting to each other when he walked up. "I'm going out to ski, do you two want to join me?" "Sure." Patsy said as she got up. "Yeah. I've been in here all day." Penny said as she stretched. Outside they met Peter & Brain. "Hey you three, were are you goin'?" Peter asked. "We're about to ski for the last time, Scoutmaster Griffin." Lazlo explained. "Oh. Just don't be late gettin' back." Peter said. They left. Penny was having the time of her life. "**Whee!** This is fun!" she shouted. "See? I told ya!" Patsy exclaimed happily. It started to snow, again. "It's snowing again." Lazlo said. "Well looks like it's time to go inside, Penny." Patsy said. "No! I don't wanna go, I-I just started havin' fun!" Penny whined. Lazlo looked at his watch. "It's 5:00! It's time to go back to camp." then he went back to the lodge. "Might as well." Penny said gloomily. "Penny wait!" Patsy called to her. "What?" Penny asked. "When we get back to camp, do you wanna have a snowball war? Just you & me?" Penny thought a bit. "Okay, Patsy." she smiled. "Good! I know that smile all too well." Patsy laughed.

Back in the lodge, everyone was paking up their gear. "Okay, is everyone here?" Peter asked. Brain counted. "Everyone's here, except Chip & Skip." "I warned those bastards to be here!" Peter sniffed. "Let's hurry up & leave before they come back!" So everyone grabbed their gear and went towards the bus or their vehicles. Finally Chip & Skip showed up at the lodge. "D-uh Chip. Everyone lefted us behind again." Skip said stupidly. "D-uh, I think you're right, Skip." Chip said stupidly. "I hate bein' late! D-uh! I haven't felt this stupid since the time, we cheered for the wrong football team." Skip said.

_**(Flashback)  
**_It shows a white background, and Chip & Skip walks around brainlessly.

Chip:(looks around)D-uh, what are we doin' here, Skip?  
Skip: It suppose to be a flashback, moron.  
Chip: Don't call me '_moron'_, clown!!  
Skip: Clown? Where? Where?

Stewie walks up.

Stewie: I say, you two are too damn stupid to have a flashback!  
Chip: Look Skip, it's the cute talking baby!  
Skip:(stupidly) D-uh, what's a _'flashback'_?  
Stewie: A flashback is something that happens when you remember something that happened to you in the past.  
Chip: Mmmm! That sounds delicious!  
Skip: Sounds tasty! I want one!  
Stewie: Sorry, only smart people have flashbacks. Just look at Clam, he's been wanting a flashback for god knows how long, and he's dumb as shit!

Clam walks up.

Clam: **Clam in flashback!!!!** **Clam remembers!!!!  
**Stewie: Shut up you rhino twat, before you hurt something.

But it was too late.

Clam: **OW!!!** Clam's head hurts.  
Chip: D-uh, my head startin' to hurt.  
Skip: Mine's too, d-uh!  
Stewie:(looks at camera) Let's end this shitty flashback now.  
**_(End Flashback)_**

Back at camp, everyone was putting up their gear. Penny & Patsy just got done putting up their skis, and was starting their snowball fight. "Ha! Ha! You missed!!" Patsy called. "Shit!" Penny sniffed, as she made another snowball. Then she thew the snowball at Patsy's head. "**Ow**! Damn! That fuckin' hurts, Penny!!" she sniffed. "Ha! Ha! I don't care!" Penny shouted as she threw another snowball. After round & round of snowball throwing, Patsy started getting tired. Penny was watching this. "Now it's time to finish this!" she said as she threw the final snowball at Patsy. It knocked her out. "Ha! Got ya!" Penny exclaimed. Lazlo then walked up. "What's goin' on here, Penny?" "I'd just whopped Patsy's ass in the snowball war!" she exclaimed happily. Patsy got up. "You win, Penny. You defeated me." "So what do you wanna do now?" Lazlo asked them. "How 'bout we go back to my cabin and listen to the radio?" Patsy asked. "Fine with me." Lazlo said. "I'm in, as long there's not any crap on the radio." Penny said. Later, they were listening to the radio. It was nearly 11:00 now. "Damn, it's 11:00! Well it's time for me to hit the bed." Penny yawned as she got up. Patsy turned to Lazlo. "Uh, Lazlo, dear. Can we go for a walk?" "Sure, Patsy." he said. Outside Patsy had a hold of Lazlo's arm. "I had a good day today, sweetie." she said. "I had a good day too, Patsy." Lazlo whispered. "I especially like it when you flirted with me eariler." "I enjoyed that part too." Patsy giggled. They reached Lazlo's cabin. "Well, here's my cabin." he said. "Are you gonna give me my goodnight kiss?" Patsy asked. "Of course." Lazlo said as he gave a small peck on Patsy's little black nose. "Oh Lazlo, that _tickles_!" she giggled. Then she hugged him. "Goodnight, my sweet prince." "Goodnight, my little beauty queen." Lazlo said as he went inside. Inside of his cabin, Raj & Clam was already asleep. Lazlo quickly got into his PJs, then he looked at himself in the mirror. "Lazlo, you're are one sexy bastard." "_No! You are!_" said his reflection. "No, no. You are!" Lazlo repeated. "_Okay, okay. I'm a sexy bastard!_" said his reflection. "And don't you know it!" Lazlo said. "_Good night, old bean_." said the reflection. "G'night, reflection." Lazlo yawned, and went to his comfty bed. A final thought popped into his head. "_I wonder if Patsy's gonna flirt with me tomorrow? I hope so_." he said before falling into deep sleep.


	4. Christmas eve's crazy party

Christmas eve's crazy party

It was the next morning. It had snowed overnight. Brain woke up. "Oh god!" he sniffed. "It looks like I have to shovel all of the walks, again!" He then got up from his bed, and made a cup of coffee. He looked around sneakily to see if anyone else was around. After making sure that no one was around, Brain poured some vodka into his coffee. "Ah, now that's the stuff!" he said as he sipped his drink. "Now time to shovel the damn walks." To his surprise the walks had already been shoveled. "The walks are all clear! Who could of done this?" he exclaimed. He then saw some snow being thrown, so he decided to investigate it. Brain walked up to Quagmire, & Gretchen. "Quagmire? Gretchen? You're the ones that doing this?" "Yeah, Brain." Quagmire said as he shoveled. "This is our gift to you." Gretchen added. Brain was amazed at the sight before him. "Thanks guys, you saved me from doing a whole lot of unwanted work! I'll make sure I'll remember this when writing out your pay checks later."

At Lazlo's cabin, Lazlo was just getting up. "Ah, what a good night's sleep." he said. Clam suddenly got up. "**CHRISTMAS DAY!!!! YAY!!!**" "Clam, Christmas isn't until tomorrow!!" Raj said sleepily. "Oh dang!" Clam said sadly. "It's not like he's gettin' anything for Christmas." Lazlo sniffed. "Yeah, what an ass!" Raj added. "Well, it's time to get dressed!" Lazlo said happily. Lazlo looked at his reflection in the mirror. "_Good morning, Lazlo old chap. How_ _are you?_" the reflection said. "I'm doin' fine, reflection." Lazlo responded. "_So are you gonna hang with your sexy girls today?_" the reflection asked. "You mean Patsy & Penny? Yeah of course!" Lazlo said. "_Then why are you standin' here talking to me for? Go be with yo' ho's!_" his reflection said in a Snoop Doog type of voice. "Okay just as soon, as I get done." Lazlo said. After he got done doing his morning routine, Lazlo went to watch the morning news, until Raj started bugging him. "Lazlo, who was you talkin' to?" "I was talking to myself outloud." Lazlo sniffed. "Can I have time in the bathroom to talk to myself? Damn!" "Geez, don't get your tail in a knot. I'd just asked you a simple question." Raj sniffed. "This is like getting the _Bulls_ to win a game, except stupidier."

Meanwhile on the other side of camp, Patsy was laying on her bed, listening to the radio. She was also reading a magazine and eating some chocolates. "Ahh! There's nothing like reading a magazine, eating chocolates, & listening to the radio in a quiet cabin." she said as she ate another piece of chocolate. "I should get the cabin to myself more often!" This peaceful moment ended when Penny walked in. "I see that you're readin' that magazine with those naked guys again." she teased. "Shut up!" Patsy sniffed. "So what are we gonna do today?" Penny asked her. "It is Christmas eve." "You're looking at it." Patsy responded. "So you're gonna stay in here all day & listen to the radio and eat chocolates?" "Yeah." Patsy said. "Mind if I join ya?" Penny asked. "Sure." Patsy said. So Penny jumped onto the bed.

At Peter's office, Joe brought in the mail. "Here's the mail, Peter." he panted. Peter picked up the packages & letters. "God, look at all these packages! I wonder if any of them for me?" Peter exclaimed. "I doubt it." Joe said. "It's probably from the campers' families." So they shifted through the packages & letters. "Do we have the campers come down here and get them?" Peter asked. "I think it'll be wise to give them the packages tomorrow, and give them the letters today." Joe said. "Okay then." Peter said as he grabbed some of the packages. "We better put them somewhere where Stewie couldn't get his tiny hands on them, just like the last time."

**_(Flashback)  
_**Stewie was looking around the closet at the Griffin house.

Stewie:(tosses stuff away) Damn! Where the fat one put those X'mas presents?

He toss more & more clothing away until he finally found them.

Stewie: **Ah ha! There's the presents!!**

He starts ripping the wrapping paper off the gifts.

Stewie: What's this? A Justin Timberlake CD? Oh Meg, you're so pathetic!

Brain walks in the scene.

Brain: Stewie! What the hell are you doin?  
Stewie:Uh, I-I-I-I was looking for...

Then he looked at a old _"Where's Waldo?"_ book.

Stewie: Waldo! Yeah, that's it. I'm looking for that Waldo fellow.  
Brain: O-kay? Just put up the x-mas presents when you get done.  
Stewie: Heh! Heh! That was easy!

He goes back to ripping through the gifts. Minutes later, Lois, & Peter walks into the closet.

Lois: **Stewie!!**

He turns around to see Lois looking angry.

Stewie: Lois!! I-I-I was looking for, uh...  
Lois: Don't lie to me, young man! **You were looking through the Christmas presents!!**

Peter picks up a present that says, _'for Peter'_. He opened it, a displeased look came across his face.

Peter: Lois, what the hell is _this_?  
Lois: What?  
Peter: You gave me a **tie** for Christmas!  
Lois: Peter, not now. I'm dealing with Stewie!  
Peter: We can deal with Stewie later. I want to talk about my unwanted gift, now! **Why in the hell you brought me a fuckin' tie for? You know I wanted a** **brand new TV for Christmas!!**

Lois: But Peter, they was all out of TV's, and I thought the tie would be a nice gift.  
Peter: A tie is a pity gift, Lois. **A pity gift!** Well until I get my TV, you're not gettin' the necklace that I brought you!  
Stewie:(thinking) _I think I better leave while they're fighting!!!_

So Stewie leaves the closet, while Peter & Lois fought. Peter grabs Lois in a headlock, and starts giving her a noogie. Lois then punches Peter in the nose, making him let her go. Then she does a karate kick and knocks Peter out.  
**_(End Flashback)_**

Outside, Lazlo, Raj, & Clam was having another snowball battle. Of course Raj was losing. "**Damn! I hate being the loser!!**" the annoying elephant cried. "**Loser!!**" Clam shouted, stupidly. "Shut up, you cheeky bastard!!!" Raj sniffed. "**I'm a cheeky bastard!! I'm a cheeky bastard!!**" Clam called. Lazlo threw a snowball at Clam. "Now you're a dead cheeky bastard!" he laughed. "Now let's pelt him!!" "That'll be a wise idea!" Raj added. So they pelted Clam with a ton of snowballs, until he was completely covered in snow. "Well Raj," Lazlo said. "It looks like you've won." "I haven't won _yet_." Raj said. Then he threw a packed snowball at Lazlo. "_Now_ I've won!" he laughed. "Now time to pratice some pool." Lazlo & Clam got up from the ground. "Well, I'll go see what Penny & Patsy are doing." Lazlo said as he lefted. Clam was alone. "Clam's lonely." Then he thought of something. "**Clam go hang** **with talking baby!!**" he shouted as he ran to Stewie's quarters. Patsy & Penny was still listening to the radio. Penny was nodding on & off, and this was getting Patsy's attention. "Penny, if you're sleepy, just lay down and take a nap." she said. Penny quickly woke up. "I-I'm not sleepy, Patsy. I was just restin' my eyes!!" "Sure." Patsy said as she turned a page in her magazine. Just then there was a knock on the cabin door. Patsy got up to answer it. It was of course Lazlo. "Hi Patsy." he said. "Hello Lazlo dear." she said in a sexy voice. "What are you guys doin'?" Lazlo asked. "Penny & I are listenin' to the radio." Patsy explained. "Can I join you two?" he asked. "Sure you can, sweetie." she exclaimed. So Lazlo walked inside. Penny sat up. "Hey Lazlo. How's my playa today?" "I'm doin' fine, Penny." he said. "So you're joinin' us?" she asked. "Yeah. I'm bored with everything else." Lazlo said as he sat on Patsy's bed.

A little bit later, Penny yawned loudly. "Oh boy! This radio listenin' sure makes you sleepy." "How 'bout we watch TV?" Lazlo asked. They both looked at Patsy. "What? Okay we can watch TV." she sniffed. So Penny turned on the TV. _'Dr. Phil'_ was on. "Shit!" Patsy said. "What's wrong?" Penny asked. "I'm out of chocolates!!" Patsy sniffed. "I'm not surprised. You've been eatin' them all mornin'." Penny teased. "I've got some snacks, Patsy." Lazlo said. "I can go get them." "Okay, Lazlo dear." she said. "Can I come with you?" Penny asked. "I haven't been anywhere since eariler." "Of course." Lazlo said. "Just don't be havin' sex now." Patsy teased. "Shut da fuck up!" Penny sniffed as she put her coat on.

At Lazlo's cabin, Lazlo checked to see if Clam or Raj wasn't around. "Why are you lookin' around for?" Penny asked. "I'm making sure that twat Clam & that silly bastard Raj isn't around." Lazlo explained. "Why?" the female mongoose asked. "Because I don't want them to see my secret snack stash!" Lazlo said as he pulled a safe from a hole underneath his bed. "Oh." Penny muttered. Lazlo then put the safe on the bed. Then he turned the dial on the safe. It took ten minutes. "**Hurry up, Lazlo! I don't got all day!!**" Penny sniffed. "Oh okay, old bean." Lazlo said. "I mean, okay Penny." Finally after twenty minutes of turning the dial, Lazlo got it open. "There!" he exclaimed. Inside of the safe, there was candy, chips, some soda, money, doughnuts, and some cakes. "So what do you want?" Lazlo asked. Penny looked through the tasty treats. "I'll take some of these _Doritos_, some _Sprite_, some doughnuts." Penny said, then she thought of something. "Lazlo, how 'bout we take everything?" "That's fine with me, Penny." he said. "Do you have a bag?" she asked. "No, but you can stuff them in your coat pockets." Lazlo said. After emptying the safe of it's snacks, Lazlo put the safe back in the hole under his bed. "Okay, with that done, let's go." he said happily. Meanwhile Patsy was still watching _'Dr. Phil'_. The subject was: _"Maury: Do we need this show?"_.

**_(Cut to Dr. Phil)  
_**Dr. Phil: Today, we're talking to guests who was on that shitty ass _'Maury'_ show. My next guest says that being on '_Maury'_ ruined his life.  
Guest: That Maury Povich bastard ruined my life!!

Dr. Phil: How did he ruin your life?  
Guest: First, his ass-kissing producers put me in a cold, bricked up room, & put my wife in a warm, cozy room. Then Maury treats her like she's hot shit!!...

Then he paused.

Guest: Can I say 'shit?  
Dr. Phil: Of course.  
Guest: Well anyway, this douche tells da stupid New York audience to boo at me, then they have da bouncers throw me out on stage. Then I tried to tell my side of da story, but dat twat accuses me of cheatin', and da fuckin' audience boos me more. Then a stagehand hands Maury a brown envelope, then he reads a piece of paper dat says dat I'm da father!! I'm da father of what? **I'd just got married!!!** Well anyway, my so-called wife starts jumpin' up & down the stage sayin', _'I told you!!!! I told you, that you're the father!!!'_ and I'm like, _'What the fuck?_' and da fuckin' audience are cheering their asses off, and dat bastard is grinnin' & skinnin', then my bitch wife kissed him!!

Dr. Phil: I see, and what were you ask to go on _'Maury'_ for?  
Guest: I was asked on there to give my wife a makeover!  
Dr. Phil: Let's get Maury on the screen, please.

Maury appears on the screen.

Dr. Phil: Is this true?  
Maury: Oh, I say, Dr. Phil. There was proof that he was cheating on his wife.  
Dr. Phil: Cut the crap, Povich!  
Maury: Oh what language!! I have proof that you've been cheating on your wife too, Dr. _Hill_.  
Dr. Phil:(angry) **Listen to me, you circumsized bitch. I've never cheated on my wfie of 31 years!!!!  
**Maury:(opens an envelope) Dr. _Neil_, **you're the father!! **

Dr. Phil: **GET THIS BASTARD OFF MY MONITOR!!!!!  
**Maury: See you next time, America!!!  
Dr. Phil: **FUCK OFF, SHITBUCKET!!!!!**

The audience laughs & applauses.

Dr. Phil:(regaining composure) Okay, up next, some little people tells their side of the story.  
_**(End Cut)**_

Patsy looked at her watch. "I wonder what's taking Penny & Lazlo. They're missing _good_ stuff." "We're back!!" Penny called. "Finally!" Patsy teased. "We would of been here quicker, but a certain _somebody_ was playin' around with da dial on the safe!!" Penny sniffed as she looked at Lazlo crossily. He smiled nervously at Penny. Patsy giggled. "Well at least you guys made it with the snacks." "Yeah Patsy, we got everything that was in the safe!!" Lazlo said. "So Patsy, what did we miss?" Penny asked her. "Well you guys just missed Dr. Phil doggin' Maury Povich out!!" Patsy laughed. "It was cool, neat, dope, and all that cool slang words to describe it!! It was _once_ in an lifetime!!!" Penny looked crossily at Lazlo again. "Uh, I'm sorry, Penny? Heh, Heh." he said nervously. "Near mind, Penny. Hopefully there's gonna be more Maury-thrashing." Patsy soothed. Penny thought about it. "Okay, Patsy." Then she turned to Lazlo. "You're lucky, that yo' _woman's_ here. If she weren't, well you'd be dead!!" "Maybe I should write down the combination to the safe, so I wouldn't have this problem next time." Lazlo said nervously. "T-That'll be a w-wise idea." "Wise idea, indeed!" Penny said, anger decreasing. Like Patsy said, there was more Maury bashing, and more of Dr. Phil freaking out. Penny was laughing. Lazlo came to her. "I guess that you're not mad at me anymore?" he asked. "Nope!" Penny said as she smiled at him. "That's perfect! I thought I was gonna sleep with one eye open." Lazlo laughed. "I wonder if there's gonna be a Christmas party?" Patsy wondered. "Probably." Lazlo said. "I doubt it." Penny said. "Mainly because half of the camp went home to their families early this morning." "How 'bout we have a tiny X-mas party? Just the three of us, Patsy?" Lazlo asked. "Okay Lazlo dear, but I wanna check around to see if anybody else is having parties first." Patsy said as she got up. "I just know the person to ask too."

At Peter's office, Quagmire & Gretchen was waiting to pick up their paychecks from Brain. "So what are you gonna spend yo' cash on, Quaggie dear?" Gretchen asked. "Well Gretchen, I'm gonna spend my cash on liquor tonight!!" Quagmire said. "You know, dear. I was gonna do the same thing." Gretchen said. "Oh really?" Quagmire asked. Gretchen nodded. "Well, how 'bout you come to the bar with me and the guys tonight?" "Okay, I'll join ya!" she smiled. Then she turned to the main desk. "I wish that _dawg_ would hurry up!!" "What?" Quagmire asked. "What?" the alligator asked. "I'm asking what you said." Quagmire said. "I said, _'I wish that dawg would hurry up'_." Gretchen repeated. "Right there! You said _'dawg'_." Quagmire said. "Yeah so?" Gretchen asked. "You said dog like the way rappers & southerners do." Quagmire explained. "Quaggie, did you forget that I'm from the south?" Gretchen asked him. "Oh yeah! Yeah! I forgot!" he laughed nervously. Brain finally brought up the checks. "Sorry it took so long, guys. Peter wanted his back shaved again." Quagmire grabbed the checks, and Gretchen opened them. "I've got $3,500! **Now that's a great Christmas gift!!**" she exclaimed. Quagmire looked at his check. "I've got $3,600 buckeroos!! I'm gonna spend this cash like crazy!!" "Come Quaggie dear, let's go to the bank before it closes." Gretchen said. Before they left the office, they bumped into Patsy. "Hey guys." she said. "Hey Patsy." Quagmire said as he did his trademark head bop. "What do you want, Smiles. I'm busy!!" Gretchen sniffed. "I was wondering, what are you guys doin' tonight?" Patsy asked. "Me, Gretchen, Peter, Cleveland, & Joe are going to the bar, tonight." Quagmire said. "So I guess you're having an all guys night out?" "Yeah. Yeah." Quagmire said. "Now please excuse us, mongoose. We've got to go to the bank!!" Gretchen sniffed as she pushed Patsy aside.

Meanwhile Lazlo & Penny was watching what's left of _'Dr. Phil'_. "Well that's it!" Lazlo said as he stretched. "How 'bout we start dat small party now, G?" Penny asked. "Okay." Lazlo said. Then he thought of something. "Uh, we don't have to start it right now." "Yeah, I'm too relaxed to get up now, anyway." Penny yawned. Patsy walked in. "Well, everyone's busy with their own thing. So are we gonna do this party or not?" "Yeah." Lazlo said as he got up from the bed. So Patsy got the remaining snacks, & Lazlo turned up the radio. He turned to the old school rap station. Penny then decided that she was well rested. "**Turn up da volume!!! I'll get this place a jumpin'!!**" Lazlo gave her the radio, and Penny turned up the volume. "**Now we're gonna party** **like it's 1993!!!**" she shouted. "Uh, do you mean party like it's _1999_, Penny?" Patsy asked. "1993, 1999. Who cares? They're all da same year to me!" Penny sniffed. The radio music was heard all over camp, and the remaining campers was hearing it. "Oh I say, what's the bloody noise?" Stewie asked. "It sounds like someone's havin' a party!" said a background loser. "It sounds like it's comin' from Patsy & Penny's cabin!" said another nobody. "I say, we-a go-a to a-their-a cabin and a-fuck-a it up!!!" an italian nobody shouted. "Shut the hell up, you italian bastard!!" Raj sniffed. "I say we go party with them!" "That'll be a wise thing!" Clam said. "A wise idea!!" Stewie added. "Yeah!" said a female nobody. "Let's-a stop-a by a pizzeria and-a get a couple of pizzas with-a pepperoni and-a sausage and-a wine-a!" the italian nobody added. Everyone looked at him. "Okay, _Mario_. You can get the pizzas, but the rest of us will go to Penny's cabin." Raj said.

Patsy, Lazlo, & Penny was having a good time. Just the three of them. "I wonder what da poor peeps are doin'?" Penny said as she sipped some soda. "Uh Penny. What does _'peeps'_ mean?" Lazlo asked. Penny was about to answer him, but Patsy interrupted her. "I'll take this one, Penny!" she said, then she turned to Lazlo. "It means; people, homies, vatos, & dawgs." "Oh." Lazlo said. Penny was impressed. "Damn, Patsy. I thought bein' at dat _Acorn Flats_ joint will make you loose yo' street knowledge & savvy, but I was wrong." "I guess stayin' in LA with my two twin cousins, payed off!!" Patsy chirped.

_**(Flashback)  
**_Patsy was in an dull apartment, that had a flat screen TV, a black _Lexus_, a midnight blue _Mercedes-Benz ML55 AMG_, a poster of Tupac, a computer, dvd players, and some cd players. She was sitting in a leather massage chair.

Patsy: Oh god!! This f-feels _g-goooooooood_, L-L-Lela!!

She was talking to a mongoose that looks identical to Penny, except she had gold & purple dye streaks in her black ponytailed hair. She also wearing a gold Kobe Bryant #8 _Laker_ jersey & shorts, a black _Lakers_ hat, & black _Nikes_. She was wearing the same type of bling that Penny wears, she also had a nose ring.

Lela: I told ya!! Just don't melt all over the fine leather.

Then Lela's twin sister walks in. Her hair was the same color, and style as her sister's. She was also wearing a purple Kobe Bryant #24 _Laker_ jersey & shorts, a black _Laker_ hat(turned backwards), black _Nikes_, and bling. She also had a tattoo on her arm that said, _'Big Money'_. Patsy looked at her thoroughly.

Patsy: I thought that you was a _Clippers_ fan, Kyla.  
Kyla: I was, but da _Clippers_ started to suck balls!! So I had to switch to da better team, you know what I'm sayin'.  
Lela:(laughs) She had to switch teams, Patsy, because her peeps'll be doggin' her for likin' da _Clippers_!  
Kyla: Shut da fuck up, before I have to bust a cap in yo' ass!

She throws a pillow at Lela, but misses her.

Lela:(laughs) You throw like a fuckin' girl!!  
Kyla:** I am a fuckin' girl!!!**

Then she jumps onto Lela, and they started play fighting.

Lela:(still laughing) Okay, okay! You're gonna fuck up my bling, dawg!!

Kyla gets off her sister. Patsy looks at Kyla's tattoo.

Patsy: I like your tattoo, Kyla.  
Kyla: Thanks, P!  
Lela:(takes out a envelope from out of nowhere) Hey bloods, I got courtside seats to the _Lakers_ game, tonight!  
Kyla: What are we doin' sittin' here? Let's go!  
Patsy: Now? Why now? The game doesn't start until 8?  
Kyla: Well Patsy, we've got to get there early before dat bastard Jack Nicholson comes and irritate da female fans!! You know what I'm sayin'.  
Lela: Yeah, dat fuckin' old bastard!  
Patsy: Okay. Hopefully I get to meet some stars like Snoop Dogg, Denzel Washington, Ice Cube. & The Game!  
Lela: Don't worry, Patsy. Snoop's usually da first few fans to arrive, and attends the before & after games parties.  
Patsy: Do you got the tickets to those?  
Lela:(pulls out six extra tickets from envelope) Oh yeah!  
Kyla: This night is gonna be da bomb!  
Lela: Hopefully Ice Cube's gonna be talkin' trash about dat Dicaprio kid, again.  
Patsy: Yeah. I don't know why girls like him? He _ain't_ all that!  
Kyla: Personally, his acting sucks!! Let's take my _Lexus_.  
Patsy:(thinking to herself) _This was a nice flashback!! My family's so fuckin' hilarious!! Well, I guess I have to end this flashback now_.  
**_(End long flashback)_**

There was a knock on the cabin door, Penny got up & answered it. It was the others. "What do ya'll want?" she asked. "We want to join your party, Hip Hop girl!" Stewie said. "Yeah, we want to party with the cool people!!" sniffed a nobody. Patsy walked up behind Penny. "We only have snacks for three people." "Uh, that italian kid is gettin' some pizza, & wine." Raj said. "**Old Italy**!" Clam shouted stupidly. "Come on Patsy. Let them party with us. It isn't fair if we had all the fun and they don't." Lazlo said. "Okay, you guys can come in, but you have to supply your own drinks!" Patsy sniffed. "**Yay!!**" cheered the crowd. So everyone entered the cabin, and Penny turned the radio on full blast. Meanwhile Peter, Joe, & Cleveland was getting ready to go to the bar's Christmas party. "I wonder what's taking Quagmire?" Joe asked. "He's normally never late for a guys night out!" Cleveland added. "Don't worry guys, he'll be here." Peter said. Quagmire & Gretchen finally shows up. "Okay guys, old Quagmire's here!" Quagmire announced. "It's about time!" Joe sniffed. "Uh, what's she doing here?" Peter asked and pointed at Gretchen. "I'm joinin' ya'll for beer night!" she sniffed. "Quagmire, what the hell's wrong with you? This is suppose to be guys night." Peter sniffed. "No _females_ allowed!" "I'll buy you the beers." Gretchen said. "That's fine with me!" Cleveland said happily. "Okay, Ms. Gretchen you can join us. But don't let this get 'round camp." Peter said as he winked. As they got into Peter's car, Peter heard the music from Patsy & Penny's party. "I hear music. I think the campers are havin' a party." Peter said. "Oh it's nothing that Brain can't handle."

Back at Patsy's cabin, the party was going well. Everyone was having a great time. Raj has his turntable and records, Stewie was trying to impress the female campers by playing a little piano, & Clam was being silly and eating the snacks. Lazlo was watching this. "Gee, I hope we have enough snacks, Patsy." he said worriedly. "Don't worry, Lazlo. Raj said that annoying italian kid is getting the pizza." Patsy said. "What's taking him anyway?" Lazlo asked.

**_(Cut to pizzeria)  
_**Mario was waiting to get his orders. It was taking a long time.

Mario: Ahh! Waiting for-a pizza is-a so boring!

Then he thought of something.

Mario: I know-a how-a to make-a the chef-a cook-a faster!

He turns to the chef.

Mario: I-a wish-a that you hurry-a-up! I'm-a hosting a party-a!  
Chef: A party? Shut-a up your face!  
Mario: No-a lie. You guys are-a invited only if you-a hurry-a up with-a my order.  
Chef: Okay-a!! Bobby, hurry it-a up!! We gotta go to a party!!

So the pizzas were done.

Chef: That-a be-a $130.

Mario gives the man the money. Then the chef called all of his friends about the party.  
**_(End Cut)_**

"Hopefully, he'll be back soon, cause Clam is eatin' all of the snacks!" Patsy sniffed. Clam ate all of the snacks. "_Burp_!! Mmmm! Tasty chips!" he burped. Everyone stopped. The record scratched. They turned to Clam. "Uh, delicious!" he said stupidly. "I say, that bastard ate all of the snacks!!" Stewie sniffed. "**Let's kill him!**" shouted someone. "No, better yet, **let's riot!!**" said a nobody. "Oh shit! This party's goin' down like a bucket of chicken at Oprah's!" Penny cried. "**I'm-a back!**" Mario shouted. Everyone looked at him. "It's that italian kid!" Raj said. "And he's brought the pizza!" Stewie said with an amazed look on his face. "I-I didn't expect him to do it!" So they grabbed the pizzas & wine from him. "It looks like that Mario kid save the party, sweetie." Patsy said to Lazlo. "Yeah, he did." Lazlo said. "I wonder if Gretchen's havin' fun." Patsy muttered.

_**(Cut to Gretchen, Quagmire, Peter, Joe, & Cleveland)  
**_They were standing in line in front of the bar. The line was long, and it looked like it wasn't going to move anytime soon. Gretchen was getting cross.

Gretchen:(cross) What's takin' so damn long?!? **We've been standin' in this line for at least two hours!!!  
**Peter: Don't worry, Ms. Gretchen. It 'll be all worth it, once we get inside.  
Cleveland: If we ever get inside.  
Joe: Uh, Peter. I'm starting to think that going to the bar at Christmas Eve _was_ a bad idea.  
Quagmire: I think he's right, Peter. If we was back at camp, we would at least be at Patsy's party!  
Gretchen: Yeah!  
Peter: C'mon guys! I think the line is gonna move any second now.

The line barely moves a step.

Peter: D'oh!!  
Gretchen: Look Quaggie, Peter's turnin' into Homer Simpson!  
Quagmire: Heh! Heh!  
_**(End cut)**_

Two hours goes by. The party crowd is starting to grow. "Uh, Penny." Lazlo said. "Yes, dawg?" she asked. "Have you noticed that it started to get a little bit crowded in here?" Lazlo asked. Penny looked around. "I'm startin' to think that you're right, G." she said. "How many people can this cabin hold?" Lazlo asked. "I think about 10 or 20 people." she said. "How many people is in here?" Lazlo asked. Penny quickly counted. "It's about _400_ people in here!" "Oh damn, Penny! We must moved this party elsewhere!" Lazlo said, then he looked around. "Where's Patsy?" he asked worriedly. "I think she's lost in this crowd!!" Penny called. "I'll look for her!" So she went into the crowd. She pushed people out of the way. "Where is she?" Penny sniffed as she pushed a nobody out of the way. She finally found her. "There you are! I was lookin' for ya!" she exclaimed. "Why was you lookin' for me, Penny?" Patsy asked. "We gotta move this party someplace dat's bigger." she said. "**I know just da place!!**" Patsy said as she got out her cell phone. "_Whaddup?_" said the person from the other end. "Yeah, yeah. We need to borrow your place, because our party has gotten over populated." Patsy said. "_Okay. We'll_ _be waitin' for y'all!_" the person said. Patsy hung up. "Okay Penny. Go tell everyone to go that sports arena by the night club!" Penny nodded, then she made her way through the crowd. Finally she got to the cabin's door. "**HEY!!! SHUT UP!!!!**" she shouted. Everyone stopped what they was doing, and looked at her. "Since this party's gettin' bigger by the second, we're movin' this huge party to da sports arena by the night club!" she announced. "I say, follow hip hop girl!!" Stewie said. Everyone started to leave. Within five minutes, the cabin was empty. It was a big mess. "Look at this mess!" Lazlo said. "Looks like I have one hell of a cleanup job to do!" Patsy groaned. "Don't worry, Patsy. I'll help you." Lazlo said happily. Patsy smiled. "Thanks Lazlo."

So Lazlo & Patsy cleaned up. "So what's that place, that Penny took the party to?" Lazlo asked as he picked up some trash. "Oh, that's just my cousins Lela & Kyla's personal basketball arena." Patsy said. "It's large & have lots of restrooms." Lazlo stood up. "There done!" The cabin was clean & spotless. "They didn't make much of a mess for two hours worth of partyin'!" Patsy said. "Well, let's go rejoin that party!" Lazlo said happily. "Okay dear." Patsy smiled.

At the sports arena, Lela, Penny, & Kyla was sitting outside. "It's a good thing, ya'll was in town." Penny said. "Cause that party was startin' to get wild if you know what I'm sayin'?" "Yeah, those X-mas parties can get wild." Lela said. Patsy & Lazlo finally showed up. "What's up, Patsy?" Kyla said as she fist bumped Patsy. "Nothin' we're just havin' a party." she said, then she turned to Lela. "Thank god you guys were here." "Well you did tell us to visit here, dawg." Lela said. Kyla then looked at Lazlo. "Hey Patsy, is this yo' man?" "Yes." she said. "So you're Lazlo. I thought you be taller." Lela said. "Hey Lela, doesn't he look like dat Rollo guy?" Kyla asked. "Yes he does, blood." Lela said. "Uh, how do you know my cousin Rollo?" Lazlo asked. "We used to work with him, before he got rich." Kyla said. "Oh. Well, I've got to check on that party now." Lazlo said nervously. "I'll join ya!" Penny added. "You guys can come inside if you want to?" Patsy asked Lela & Kyla. "Do you wanna party?" Kyla asked Lela. "Sure, blood." Lela said.

It was 12:30 now. The party just finished, and the partiers are heading back to camp. Lela & Kyla was cleaning and locking up. "Thanks for lettin' us use your basketball arena, guys." Patsy thanked. "I'll make sure I'll pay you back." "Anytime blood, anytime." Lela said. "So are you guys goin' home?" Penny asked. "Yeah Penny. It's too damn cold to be hangin' around here, son." Kyla said as she shivered a bit. "And we got to get back to LA to open our gifts, dawg." Lela said, then she turned to Lazlo. "It was _nice_ meetin' you, homey." "The same to you, too." Lazlo said happily. "Make sure you visit LA someday G, and when you do you can stay with Lela & me if Rollo's too busy." Kyla said. "Come, Sis. We got a long drive ahead of us." Lela said. "Come on guys, it gettin' late!" Penny yawned.

Back at camp, the campers are now going to bed. "Well I had a great day, Patsy." Lazlo said. "I've had a great day too, sweetie." Patsy said. Then she thought of something. "Uh, Lazlo can you wait a bit? I need to give you something." "Sure." Lazlo said. Patsy ran into her cabin to get it. Lazlo kicked the snow, when Peter's car drove by. "I guess Scoutmaster Griffin's back." he said. "That was the worst night of my life, Peter!" Joe sniffed. "**That was time** **wasted!!**" Cleveland sniffed. "Who's idea was to have guys night out on Christmas eve, anyway?" Peter asked. Cleveland, Joe, Gretchen, & Quagmire looked at Peter crossily. "Oh." he muttered. Gretchen left them. "Well, dat was a waste of a night!" she sniffed. She then saw Lazlo kicking the snow lightly. "**Hey!!** What are you doin'?!?" Lazlo looked at her. "I was just kicking the snow." he said. "Is it late for you to see Patsy?" Gretchen asked crossily. Patsy finally came back out. "I see you're finally back. Did you enjoy your night?" "No! **Everything went wrong!!** **We just stood in a fuckin' line for 4** **hours!!**" Gretchen huffed. "Well you should of stayed here, we had fun with our party!" Patsy teased. Gretchen decided to say nothing, and went into the cabin. "Here." Patsy said as she gave Lazlo an evenlope. "What is it?" he asked. "It's another Christmas present from me." Patsy said; then in a sexy voice. "I hope you like it, honey." Lazlo opened it. It was a photo of Patsy. She was in her bra & undies, and was in a seductive pose on her bed. "Damn Patsy! Nice cleavage! Nice shade of red on the lipstick!" he exclaimed. Patsy giggled seductively. "Thank you, Lazlo dear." Then she quickly grabbed him. "Look at my hat and tell me what you see?" Lazlo quickly looked at Patsy's hat. "Is that mistletoe pinned on there?" he asked. "Yes honey." Patsy said in a sexy voice. "I-I see you're wearing that l-lipstick!" Lazlo said. "Yes, I am, sweetie! You know what's gonna happen next, don't ya?" she asked, still in sexy voice. "Y-Yes. You're gonna kiss me?" Lazlo said. Patsy nodded and gave him a passoniate kiss. The kiss lasted for 2 minutes. "**Damn! I'm gonna dream** **about this moment tonight!!**" Lazlo said with the lipstick still on his mouth. Patsy giggled. It started to snow again. "Well good night, Lazlo dear. Merry Christmas!" Patsy said. "Good night, my _sexy girl_!!" Lazlo called to her. He ran back to his cabin, he undressed quickly and went into his PJs. Lazlo looked at Patsy's sexy photo. "I'm gonna dream about you tonight!" he said. Then he turned off the light and went happily to sleep.


	5. Christmas Day

Christmas day

It was Christmas morning. It was all quiet at _Camp Griffin_. Fresh fallen snow covered the walks. Mostly everyone was still asleep. Despite of bring up late, Peter was up. "It's Christmas day!" he said. "I guess I have to get the campers' packages now." So he went outside to his car, and he took out his key. He put the key in the lock that leads to the trunk. He opened the trunk. "Look at all these packages!!" he exclaimed. "It's gonna take me several trips to and from the lodge to do it all!" Cleveland suddenly walks up. "Merry Christmas, my black white brother." he greeted. "I see you need help." "Yeah, I do, Cleveland. Some of these packages are heavy as hell!!" Peter groaned. So Cleveland grabbed some packages. "So we're gonna put them in the lodge?" "Yes." Peter said. "That'll be a wise thing!" "Why does everyone keep sayin' that?" Cleveland asked. "Because it's funny!!" Peter laughed, as he grabbed some packages.

At Lazlo's cabin. Clam woke up. "**CHRISTMAS DAY!!!!**" he shouted. Lazlo woke up, and he looked at his clock. "It's 7:30. Well, might as well get up." he said as he got out of his bed. Raj woke up also. "Oh god!" he yawned & stretched. "That was some party last night, Lazlo." "Yes, it sure was!" Lazlo said as grabbed his uniform. "Hopefully, there's gonna be another party like that soon, 'cause I want to spin records again!" Raj said. "Uh, Raj. You do know that New Years is next week, don't you?" Lazlo asked. "Damn! I nearly forgot!!" the elephant said stupidly. "Hopefully, Penny & Patsy set up another party!" "**PARTY!!! PIZZA!!! WINE!!!! OLD ITALY!!!!**" Clam shouted. Soon Lazlo was soon dressed. "Now to get Patsy's & Penny's presents!" he said. Then he grabbed a shopping bag from underneath his bed. "Okay Lazlo, me & Clam gonna be in the lodge opening our mail!" Raj called. "Okay now to give Penny & Patsy their gifts!" Lazlo said as he put a mint in his mouth.

Meanwhile back at her cabin, Patsy was putting on her hat. She also put on some perfume & lipstick. "There." she said. "Now I'm ready to give Lazlo a passionate Christmas kiss, when he gives me my diamond bracelet." Penny walked up to her. "I see you're gettin' _dolled_ up for Lazlo today." she teased. "Shut up, Penny!" Patsy sniffed. Penny got out three shopping bags. "So Patsy, are you ready?" she asked her. "Yeah!" Patsy said, as she took one of the bags from Penny. "This Christmas is gonna be entertainin' just like when I was three years old!" Penny said.

_**(Flashback)  
**_Penny's family was unwrapping their gifts. Her father was talking loudly.

Penny's dad: **I got a brand new camcorder!!** Thank you, honey! Thank you!  
Penny's mom: Anytime dear!

She then gets up and walks to Toddler Penny.

Penny's mom:(picks Penny up) Come Penny. Your gifts are over by your two cousins, Patsy & Elizabeth.  
Toddler Penny: What did Santa get me, mommy?  
Penny's mom: I'm not tellin' you, Penny dear. You have to find out what you got for yourself.

Penny's mom sat Penny down next to Toddler Patsy, Toddler Elizabeth, and her gifts. Penny then runs over to her gifts, and starting ripping off the wrapping paper.

Penny:(rips wrapping paper) I can't wait to see what I got! I got a...ball? What da _hell_ am I suppose to do with a ball? This is wack!  
Toddler Patsy: Oooh! Penny, you said a bad word! I'm telling!  
Toddler Elizabeth: I say, Patsy. Don't be such a wanker!  
Patsy: Ooooh! Lizzie, you said a bad word, too! I'm telling!  
Elizabeth: Don't be so daft, Patsy old chap. I'm british. I'm suppose to say words like that.

Patsy sat there and thought was Elizabeth had said.

Patsy: I do recall that your mommy use those types of words. I'm not gonna tell on you, Lizzie, but I'm gonna tell on you Penny!  
Penny: **Go ahead!! I don't care!!**

Patsy went towards her mother.

Patsy:(pulls on her mother's pant leg) Mommy, Penny said a bad word.  
Patsy's mom: She did, did she? Wait till her mother hears about this!!

She went towards Penny's mom. Patsy smiled evily at Penny. Penny's mom & Patsy's mom went towards Penny.

Diane: Penny, what bad word did you say?  
Penny:(scared) I said, 'hell'. Please don't have daddy whoop me!  
Diane:(turns to Patsy's mom) She just said 'hell', Lori. It's no big deal, it's not like she said the _'N'_ word, or the '_MF_' word.  
Lori:(turns to Patsy) Penny didn't say a bad word, Patsy. Now go play.  
Patsy:(growls) Oh _fuck_!!

Everyone stops what they was doing.

Lori:(amazed) Patsy Anne Smiles, did you just cuss?  
Patsy:(scared) Uh, w-was that a bad w-word?  
Lori:(taking off her belt) Yes it was, young lady!! **No daughter of mine's gonna stand there and be disrespectful!! It's time to whoop dat ass!!**

She grabs Patsy and put her on her lap. She starts whooping her with the belt.

Patsy:(cries) I-I'm sorry, mommy! **WAAAAAAAA!!!!!**

Penny & Elizabeth laughs at her.

Penny:(laughs) Now this is da best Christmas ever!! Ha! Ha! Ha!  
Elizabeth:(laughs) I say, Patsy's mum is beating her like an old doggy!! Ha! Ha! Ha!  
Penny: I'm gonna remember this for da rest of my life!  
**_(End Flashback)_**

Everyone was at the lodge. Most of them was opening up their letters, and some of them was opening up their packages. "Oooh a-look-a! Mama Cass is-a doin' a-fine!" Mario said as he read his letter. "I got some spray paint so I can put graffitti on the walls, _ese_!" said a LA mexican gangster nobody. Stewie picked up a present that said, _'For Stewie. From Nina.'_. He opened it. "I say, it's Iran's nuclear secrets!!" he exclaimed. "I must do something nice for her! Where is she?" He looked around. "I say, where's the hell is she?" Then he remembered. "I forgot that she went home for the holidays! So the means she'll probably never return in this fan fic! **That means I don't have to do anything nice for nobody!!!**" Stewie exclaimed. Raj opened his package. "What the fuck's this?! A sweater?!? Mom must be smokin' that stuff, again! Well, at least I'm not the only one who's gonna have a crappy Christmas. Clam's not gonna get shit!" Clam picked up a package. "Oh shit!" Raj sniffed. Clam ripped open the package. "**A sword!!**" he exclaimed. "**Let's** **see if it works!!**" Clam said as he threw the weapon. It hit someone off-screen. "**Ow! My eye!**" the person yelled. Quagmire opened his gift. "_'For_ _Quaggie. From Gretchen.'_ I wonder what is it?" It was a key. "A key? Gretchen, did you buy me a new car?" he asked her. "Yes, Quaggie dear." Gretchen replied. "I think it'll be a wise idea for you to go outside and look at it." "Okay!" Quagmire said as he went outside. Patsy walked up to Lazlo. "Merry Christmas, Lazlo honey!" she said. "Merry x-mas to you too, sexy." Lazlo said to her. "Can you bring your presents to the quiet side of the lodge, please dear?" she asked him. "Are you & Penny gonna be over there?" Lazlo asked. "Sure we are honey." Patsy said. "Okay." Lazlo smiled.

On the quiet side of the lodge, Penny & Patsy was waiting for Lazlo. "I hope he _likes_ my gifts!!" Patsy said nervously. "I hope he likes my presents, too!" Penny added then she turned to Patsy. "Do you wanna exchange gifts now?" "Yes sure." Patsy said. "Here Patsy." Penny said as she gave Patsy the gift. She took it out. "It's an mp3 player! Something I always wanted! **Thank you, Penny!!**" Patsy exclaimed as she hugged her. "You're welcome, Patsy." Penny said. Patsy then got a bag from out of nowhere. "Here's your present from me, Penny." she said as she gave Penny the bag. Penny opened the bag. "Oh my god! It's a Rasheed Wallace _Detroit Pistons_ jersey! Thank you Patsy!" she said as she put on the jersey. "Now you won't be so homesick, if you have a reminder from there with you." Patsy said. "That was an wise idea, G! That was a wise idea indeed!" Penny smiled. Lazlo finally shows up. "That cheeky bastard Clam! Puttin' his sword through my package from home! Stupid twat!" he muttered, then he put on his trademark smile. "Okay girls. I got your presents. Penny, I'll start with you first." He gave her a box. She opened it. "It's a laptop!!" "Yeah. Since that day that Patsy told me that you was working on her laptop, I decided to buy you one." Lazlo explained. "Thank you, Lazlo, my dawg!" Penny said. Then she took out a box and gave it to him. "**A brand new dvd player!!!**" Lazlo exclaimed. "Thank you Penny!" "Don't thank me yet, because I got two mo' gifts for ya!" Penny said. She gave Lazlo a bag. He opened it. "_FUBU Fat Albert_ shirts!! They're all my size, too!" he exclaimed. "I got one mo' present for ya!" Penny said as she dug into her pocket and took out a tiny black box. "Here." Lazlo opened it. "It's a Gold _Rolex_ watch!!" "Yep! That watch cost a pretty penny!" Penny said. "Thank you, Penny!" Lazlo smiled. "Okay, my turn!" Patsy shouted. "Here. Merry Christmas, Lazlo sweetie." Lazlo opened the bag. "_FUBU_ shirts!! Thanks honey!" he smiled. "I decided that you needed some new shirts, dear." Patsy said. Lazlo then reached into his pocket, and pulled out a tiny black box. "Patsy, here's your present." He opened it. Patsy's eyes grew wide when she saw it. "**It's a beautiful diamond bracelet!!**" she gasped. "I brought this with you in mind, honey." Lazlo said, as he put the bracelet on Patsy's wrist. "Damn! I like yo' ice, Patsy!" Penny said. Patsy then sat on Lazlo's lap. "Are these _real_ diamonds, dear?" she asked in a sexy voice. "Yes." Lazlo said. "It costed a whole lot!" Patsy got closer to his face. "I love my present, dear." Then she gave him a passionate kiss. This kiss lasted for 5 minutes. "Damn! This kiss was better than last night's, Patsy honey." Lazlo exclaimed. Patsy giggled seductively. "**Christmas hugs!**" she shouted as she hugged Lazlo. "**Hey! I want to hug him too!**" Penny sniffed. "C'mon Penny, there's plenty of me for you to hug!" Lazlo said. So she hugged him also. The hugging soon stopped. "So what do you guys want to do now?" Patsy asked. "How 'bout we go to my cabin and watch TV?" Lazlo asked. "Sure." Penny said. "Alright." Patsy added.

Back at his cabin, Lazlo turned on his TV. "Is there a game on today, Penny?" he asked her. "I think so." Penny said. "But I'm not too sure." Patsy got a newspaper from out of nowhere. She turned to the TV schedule section. "There's a double-header on today. It starts a 1:00." "Damn! It's only 9:15!" Penny sniffed. "Well, nothing's good on TV." Lazlo muttered. "Do you wanna play a game of pool?" Patsy asked. "Who me?" Lazlo asked. Patsy nodded. "You know that I haven't played pool since that incident in Las Vegas." he said. "Oh come on, Lazlo!" Penny sniffed. "You use dat same old excuse everytime we want to play pool with you. _The Las Vegas incident_. _The Las Vegas incident_!!" Penny then turned to Patsy. "You know what, Patsy. I think Lazlo can't play pool, because he don't know how! Looks like I have to take him to school in pool!" she exclaimed happily. "I have a bad feeling in the pit of my checkbook!" Lazlo muttered. Patsy came to him. "Don't worry, sweetie. I'll teach you how to play pool." she soothed. "Okay." Lazlo said.

Meanwhile, at Peter's office. Peter was reading a newspaper. "Let's see what's going on in the world today." he muttered. He turned the pages in the newspaper. "I see it's the same old crap like they always print!" he sniffed. Quagmire walks in. "Hey Quagmire. I've heard that your _woman_ brought you a brand new car." Peter teased. "Oh yes, it has everything that I ever wanted in a car!" Quagmire exclaimed. "It has a radar, dvd player, TV monitors, and a chick radar; so I can find some chicks, giggity!" "I see." Peter said. "Well gotta go, Peter!" Quagmire said as he left. "He's gonna go have sex with his woman." Peter sniffed.

At the poolroom, Penny was at one of the pool tables. "I need to use the restroom, be prepare to lose when I get back, Lazlo!" she said as she went to the restroom. Patsy got a cue stick. "This'll be a good chance to teach you how to play, dear." she said. "Okay." Lazlo said as he went towards her. So Patsy showed Lazlo how to play pool. She also gave him some tips & pointers. "Okay, I'm back!" Penny called. "Don't forget what I taught you." Patsy said to Lazlo. "Do I get a good luck kiss?" he asked. "Yes, dear." Patsy said, and gave him a small kiss on his cheek. "So are we gonna play for profit?" he asked. "Hell yeah!" Penny said as she picked up a cue stick. "$20 per ball." Lazlo thought about it. "Alright, Penny." "Okay loser." Penny laughed. So the game started. Penny hit the cue ball, and it hit another ball, and the other ball went in the corner pocket. "Ha! Easy as pie!" she bragged. Fortunately, she missed the next shot. "**My turn!!**" Lazlo shouted. He then grabbed the cue ball, and he hit it. It then bounced off another ball, and the other ball went into the corner pocket. "Not bad, monkey boy, but it's still early yet. You can still fuck up!" Penny sniffed. Lazlo used all of the tricks, & tips that Patsy showed him. Things was going good for Lazlo, and Penny wasn't liking this not one bit. "_Damn! He's better at this then I thought! Looks like I have to pay him!_" she muttered to herself. Lazlo missed the next shot. "**Ha! My turn!**" Penny shouted. She hit the ball, and the ball went in. There's was two balls left. "Get ready to pay up!" Penny bragged. She missed the easy shot. "**Shit!!**" she sniffed. Lazlo walked up to the table. He tied a blindfold on his eyes, and Patsy tied his left arm behind his back. "Oh, he's just showin' off now!" Penny sniffed. With his free hand, Lazlo had the cue stick. The cue stick hit the cue ball. The cue ball hit the two remaining balls, then they both went into the corner pocket. "That'll be $300, Penny!" Lazlo said. "_Damn!_" Penny sniffed as she gave him the money. "There! All $300 bucks! But I must admit, you did a good job. Especially dat trick you did on the last shot. Can you teach me that?" "Maybe before our next game, Penny." Lazlo said as Patsy untied his left arm. "Okay then. It's a date." Penny said as she left. Patsy untied the blindfold off Lazlo's eyes. "You've done well, honey." "Thanks to you, Patsy!" Lazlo said as he got the money. "Do I get half?" she asked. "Yes of course!" he said. He gave her $150 dollars. "Thank you, sweetie." "You're a very good teacher! But I must say, how did you learn to play like that?" Lazlo asked her. "Well, Penny's not the only one to have pool lessons from Garrett Morris!" Patsy bragged.

_**(Flashback)  
**_Patsy was in a smokey Detroit pool hall. Garrett Morris was at a pool table with her.

Morris: Now to hit my _main _shot!

He turned his back and he put the cue stick in his hands. He hits the cue ball, and it hit the other balls. They went into the corner pocket.

Patsy: What do you call that?  
Morris: I call it my _main shot_, Patsy. You can use this move throughout the game, but I usually save it towards the end.

He makes couple of more shots, then he looked at Patsy.

Morris: Can you give me that sandwich over there, please.  
Patsy: Sure!

She gives him the sandwich.

Morris: Okay Patsy. Here's another favorite trick of mine's called _'the Philip Banks'_ shot.  
Patsy: Why is it called that?  
Morris: Because I saw this shot on the 1st season episode of _'The Fresh Prince of Bel-air'_. It's pretty easy. Watch!

He had the cue stick & the sandwich in one hand, and he was making the sure the cue stick was at the same level with the balls with the other. He hit the cue ball, and it hit the balls, and they each went into the corner pockets.

Patsy:(amazed) Damn! That was _neat_, Mr. Morris.  
Morris:(laughs as he takes bite from sandwich) Patsy, call me Garrett.  
Patsy: Okay then, Garrett.  
Morris: Always use these moves to your advantage, Patsy.  
Patsy: I will.  
Morris: Now time for my _'George Jefferson'_ shot.  
Patsy: Why is it called that?  
Morris: Just watch.

He hits the ball. It bounces off the table's wall. It hits Leah Remini. It knocks her out.

Morris: Works everytime!  
Patsy: I like that shot!! I can't _stand _that bitch!  
Morris: I can't stand her, either. That's why I named it _'George Jefferson'_ shot. That's my top favorite!  
Patsy: Did Sherman Hemsley patented the shot himself?  
Morris: Why don't you just ask him for yourself. He's right behind you.

Sherman Hemsley was at the next table.

Patsy:(taps his shoulder) Excuse me, Mr. Hemsley. Did you patented that _'George Jefferson'_ shot?  
Hemsley: Yep, sure did! It's one of two popular shots here.  
Patsy: What the second one?  
Hemsley: The second one is the _'Cosmo Kramer'_ shot! Isn't that right, Michael Richards?  
Richards: Yep! That's right buddy! **Giddyup!!!  
**Morris: Yep. Those shots only work if that Leah Remini bitch is around. It'll be a wise thing for you not to forget that, Patsy.  
Patsy: I won't!

Leah Remini wakes back up.

Remini: Oh gawd, my head's hurtin'!  
Morris: Leah, I think it'll be a wise thing if you shut the hell up, now!  
Remini: Okay. I kneed a drink!  
Patsy: Drunken Slut!  
Remini: Fuck you, little pink-haired heffer!  
Patsy: Fuck you, no actin' skank!  
**_(End Flashback)_**

Joe, & Cleveland was cooking the holiday dinner. Brain was supervising the whole operation. Cleveland was cooking the ham. "Ah, the ham looks so plump & juicy, my white brothers." "Hopefully that damn Quagmire better not come in here, and try to have sex with it like he did at Thanksgiving." Joe sniffed. "Yeah, what an ass!" Brain added. "Brain, can you give me the gravy mix?" Cleveland asked. Brain tossed the gravy mix towards him. "Thanks, bro." he said as he got out a pan. Soon the holiday dinner was done. "There finish!" Cleveland said as he wiped his hands with a towel. "What do we do now?" Joe asked. "We can go watch TV." Brain said. "I think the _Celtics_ are playing." "Yeah, let's!" Joe said. So they left the kitchen. It had been barely forty seconds, before Quagmire walks in. "I need a beer!" he said as he went towards the refrigerator. He took out the beer, then he looked at the ham. "Oh my god!! Look at that ham!! It's so big! It's so round like a chick's ass!! Must...have...sex...with...it!" He then went towards the ham. Cleveland pops from out of nowhere. "**Stay away from that ham, you bastard!!** Get! Get! Shoo! Shoo!" Quagmire walked out of the kitchen, defeated. "Go have sex with your woman! Looks like I have to sit next to the kitchen door, so that twat don't come back in here!" In the lodge, Brain turned the channel to where the game was suppose to be on. "Damn! It's not on!!" he sniffed. Joe looked at clock. "It's just 11:05! I think the game's on later!" "Well I guess it's back to the kitchen, then." Brain muttered.

At Lazlo's cabin, Penny, Patsy, & Lazlo was watching TV. Lazlo was flipping through the channels. "Damn, there's nothing good on!" he sniffed. Raj suddenly walks in. "I see that you're with your ladies, Lazlo." He teased. "Shut the fuck up, you cheeky bastard!!" Lazlo sniffed. "What the hell do you want?" "I came for my gloves." "Are these them?" Penny asked as she hold up some green gloves. "Yes." Raj said. "Here catch." Penny said as she tossed the gloves at him. "Thanks Penny." Raj said as he put on the gloves. "Don't be havin' sex in here." "**Muthafucka!!** I'm gonna..." Penny shouted. Raj ran out of the cabin, laughing. "Fuckin' long nosed prick!" Patsy sniffed. Penny looked at the TV. "Hey! _'Sanford & son'_ is on!" "Turn it up, Lazlo dear. That'll be a wise thing." Patsy said. Lazlo turned up the sound. "Good! It's da one when Sanford beats up Lamont." Penny said.

_**(Cut to 'Sanford & son')  
**_Fred was sitting at his favorite chair watching TV. Lamont walks in, looking tired.

Lamont: Hey pop!  
Sanford: Hey son. Workin' hard?  
Lamont: I work hard _everyday_, Pop!  
Sanford: Oh. Never mind that, son.  
Lamont: Okay pop. Is supper ready? I've been lookin' forward to eat those porkchops & _rice-a-roni_!  
Sanford: Uh?  
Lamont: Oh no, you didn't?  
Sanford: Yep. I-I didn't know that you was gonna be late, so I ate yo' dinner.  
Lamont: **What?!? You ate my dinner!**  
Sanford:(picks his teeth) Yeah! You suppose to eat porkchops & rice-a-roni when they're hot, not ice cold!  
Lamont:(angry a bit) Well, at least I get to have _**some**_ of the cheesecake.

Fred leans back in his chair and burps.

Lamont: **Don't tell me, that you ate the cheesecake, too?  
**Sanford: Yep! (_burps_)  
Lamont:(getting crosser) **THAT'S IT!!! I'M TIRED OF DOING ALL OF THE WORK AROUND HERE, AND I'M GETTIN' TIRED OF YO' OLD BROKE ASS!**

**  
**Sanford:(gets up from his chair) Who you callin' _old_?  
Lamont: **I'M CALLIN' YOU OLD!!! OLD!! OLD!! OLD!!**

Sanford knocks Lamont out!

Sanford: That'll teach you! This is my empire, and don't you _forget_ it either!! Fuckin' Dummy!!

The audience laughs.  
_**(End cut)**_

"Oh snap, that Fred Sanford cracks me up!" Penny laughed. "He probably can cook." Patsy said. "Yeah Patsy. Did you watch dat one when Fred fried that chicken?" Penny asked. "Oh yes. That chicken looked so crispy, & finger lickin' good!" Patsy exclaimed. "Stop it you two, you're makin' _me_ hungry!" Lazlo said. "The TV guide on the newspaper said that's there suppose to be a _'Cedric the Entertainer presents'_ marathon." Patsy said. "I like that show!" Lazlo exclaimed. "Too bad _FOX_ didn't give it mo' seasons." Penny sniffed. "Yeah. I especially like that song, that Cedric sings at the end!" Patsy said. "Yeah, I like dat too!" Penny added. "So are we gonna watch _'Sanford & son'_ or _'Cedric the entertainer'_?" Lazlo asked. "Turn to _'Cedric'_, Lazlo honey. That'll be a wise thing." Patsy said. So Lazlo turned to _'Cedric the entertainer'_.

It's 1:00 now. Lazlo turned the TV. "Time for the double-header!!" he exclaimed. "It's about time!!" Penny sniffed. "I was about to go crazy!" "I wonder who's playin'?" Patsy asked. "Didn't the newspaper say what teams were playing, Patsy?" Lazlo asked. "Nope. It just said, **'NBA doubleheader'**." she said. "I think the _Celtics_ are playin' against the _Magic_." Penny said. "The _Celtics_. That team is hot right now!" Lazlo said. "Yeah, those _'Big 3'_ players, Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen, & Paul Pierce!" Patsy said. "Have you ever noticed that Paul Pierce kinda looks like Allen Iverson & Dennis Rodman?" Lazlo asked. Penny & Patsy thought about what Lazlo had said. "Yeah, he sort of do look like them." Penny said. The game started. Later it was close to 4:30. The _Celtics_ defeated the _Magic_. "115 to 68! Damn Orlando got their asses _whopped!_" Lazlo laughed. "I wonder if dinner's being served?" Patsy wondered. "Probably." Penny said. "What are we sittin' here for? Let's go see." Lazlo said.

At the lodge, everyone was watching the second game of the double-header, and eating. "I say, this is the best ham I've _ever_ tasted!" Stewie said. "Mmm! That-a taste-a good-a!" Mario said. Peter was sitting on the couch eating what's left of the ham. "Mmmm! You've outdone yourself this time, Cleveland!" he said as he took another bite from the ham. "Thanks, my tubby white brother." Cleveland said. "Can I have the rest of the food?" Peter asked. "Sure." Cleveland said. So Peter got up. "Does anybody want more food? Because I'm about to finish it off." "No!" everyone said. "Wait Peter!" Quagmire said, then he turned to Gretchen. "Do you want more food, Gretchen dear?" "No thank you. I'm full, Quaggie dear." she said. "She's done too!" Quagmire said to Peter. "Okay then." Peter said as he went into the kitchen. Lazlo, Penny, & Patsy walked in. They saw everybody eating. "Damn, they're already eatin'!" Penny sniffed. "I wonder if there's any food left?" Lazlo asked. Peter then walks out with the remaining food. "We've missed dinner! _Damn!_" Patsy sniffed. "Now what are we gonna eat? All of the restaruants are closed." moaned Lazlo. "Don't worry, guys. I've got somethin' to eat back at my cabin." Patsy said. "You do?" Lazlo asked. "Yes, honey." Patsy said. "Okay then." Lazlo said.

Back at her cabin, Patsy went to her fridge. Penny went underneath her bed. "Penny, what are you doing?" Lazlo asked. "I'm gettin' the microwave." the mongoose said. Patsy shortly came back with three pizza boxes. "Is that the pizza from last night?" Lazlo asked. "Yes, it is." Patsy said as she sat the pizzas on her bed. "It looks like that Mario kid brought too many!" "Pizza taste better on the second day." Penny said as she put a slice of pizza in the microwave. Patsy turned on the TV. "Good! The game's still on." she said. "Looks like it the _Pistons_ against the _Knicks_." Lazlo said. "The _Pistons_'ll beat them, licky split!" Penny said as she took a bite from her pizza. "Uh, Patsy. What's for dessert?" Lazlo asked. "I've got a chocolate cake in the refrigerator, Lazlo sweetie." Patsy replied. "I bet it's gonna _taste_ good!" Lazlo said, as he drunk some soda.

Time's 7:55 now. Just like Penny said, the _Pistons_ beat the _Knicks_. The score was _Pistons_: 106. _Knicks_ 58. "I knew the _Pistons_ would beat the _Knicks_." Penny said happily. Lazlo was eating the last piece of the chocolate cake. "Oh god! That was some _good_ cake!" he burped. "I'm glad that you like it, dear." Patsy said. Penny then grabbed the remote. "I wonder what's on?" she said as she turned the TV. "Probably nothing, since it's Christmas." Patsy said. Penny turned to _ESPN_. Another _NBA_ game was just starting. "Look guys, another game." she said. "Who's playin'?" Patsy asked. "It looks like the _Utah Jazz_ against the _Phoneix Suns_." Penny said. "Oh the _Suns_ gonna beat the shit out of the _Jazz_!" Lazlo said. Time's 11:00 now. Everyone's going to bed now. The third game just ended. The _Suns_ beat the _Jazz_ just like Lazlo predicted. "_Suns_: 99, _Jazz_ 55. Damn that _Jazz _sure is a sucky team!" Lazlo laughed. Gretchen walks in. "Oh, there you guys are! I didn't _interrupt_ anything, did I?" "No! Don't be so fuckin' stupid, Gretchen!" Patsy sniffed. Gretchen laughed. "Fuckin' bitch!!" Penny got up & stretched. "Well, I guess it's time to go to bed!" she yawned. Patsy & Lazlo put their coats on. "Let's go outside, Patsy." Lazlo said. "Okay, honey." Patsy smiled.

Outside, Patsy & Lazlo was talking. "I really _love_ my x-mas gift, dear." Patsy said in a sexy voice. "I know, dear." Lazlo whispered. Then he looked at her hat. "I see that you still got that mistletoe pinned on your hat." "Yep! I'm hoping that you give me some _more_ Christmas kisses. That's why I haven't took it off yet." Patsy explained. "Oh." Lazlo said. Then he dipped Patsy back and looked into her sparkling eyes. "Pucker up, sweet thing!" He then kissed her. Patsy giggled & blushed a bit. "_Oh Lazlo_!" she said. Lazlo then held her hands. "I've had a great day with you." "I had a great day with you _too_, honey." Patsy said. "Good night, Patsy, _my sweet_. Merry Christmas!" he said. "Merry Christmas to you _too_, dear." she said. Then they both went to their cabins. In his cabin, Lazlo quickly & quietly got undressed. Then he went into his PJs. He got into his bed. "This is the best Christmas ever!" he said, as he turned off the light. Before he went to sleep, he was remembering the day he had with Patsy. "Today was a good day! Today was a good day!" Lazlo said before falling into deep sleep.


	6. New Year's eve bash

New Years Eve

It was a warm, sunny morning at _Camp Griffin_. Some of the snow from the previous week was starting to melt a bit. Lazlo was the first one up in his cabin. He just got done doing his morning routine. "Ah! I'm done showering and all that fine stuff, time to watch the morning news!" he said happily as he turned on his TV. The sound of the TV woke up Clam. "TV! Cartoons! Redd Foxx!! _'Good Times'_!! Digital cameras!! _Hip Hop Hooray_!!" he ranted stupidly. "Clam, shut the hell up!" Lazlo sniffed. "I'm trying to watch the news!" "**_The Ollie Williams show_!!**" Clam shouted. All of Clam's yelling woke up Raj. "Clam, can't you be stupid when everyone's up? I'm tryin' to sleep!" he sniffed. "It's because I'm black ain't it?" Clam sniffed stupidly. "You're not black! Hell, you're not even human." Raj sniffed. "**Bigot!!**" Clam said. "I think it'll be a wise thing if you shut up." Raj said. "Okay! Cheerio, old bean!!" Clam said stupidly, as he got up from his bed. "What a dumbass!" Raj muttered. "How can I dream about Angelina Jolie, with this twat making nose?! Might as well get up now!" Lazlo was trying not to laugh. "What you dream about Angelina Jolie? Hee! Hee! Now that's funny!" "Shut up, Lazlo!" Raj sniffed, as he blushed a bit. "You be dreaming about her breasts!" Lazlo laughed. "So what? I'm a guy. I'm suppose to dream about breasts!" Raj sniffed. Lazlo laughed a little bit more. "Shut up!!" Raj sniffed, as he left to get dressed.

At Peter's place, Peter was sitting at his desk with a empty notepad. "Hmm?" he muttered. "What to do, today?" Then a thought popped into his head. "_What the hell am I doin'? I shouldn't be doing this! I should be doing scoutmaster stuff!!_" Then he got up, and farted. "Ahh! That's more like it! Now to get the guys down here. It's time to play some poker. Soon the guys were playing poker. "So." Joe said as he shuffled the cards. "What are we gonna do tonight?" "What do you mean?" Peter asked. "It's New Years Eve, Peter." Brain said. "Oh is it?" Peter asked. "Yes it is." Cleveland said. "Well, how 'bout we go back to that bar we visited last week?" Peter asked. All of the guys looked at him. "You must be outta of your fuckin' mind!" Quagmire sniffed. "The line to the bar is probably gonna be _longer_ than it was last week." Joe sniffed. "Oh come on!" Peter whined. "**No!!**" the guys shouted. "Oh come on!" Peter whined again. "Okay, okay! We'll go back to the bar, you cheeky fat bastard!" Brain sniffed. "_Heh! Heh! Works everytime!_" Peter muttered to himself.

Meanwhile on the other side of camp, Patsy was still asleep. The shining winter sun shone on her, making her wake up. "Oh god!" she said as she shield the sun from her eyes. "Might as well get up, now." Soon after she got done doing her morning routine, Patsy got dressed, then she thought of something. "Since I have the cabin to myself again, I can get some 'me' time!" So she turned on the radio, got her sports magazine, and some chocolates. Then she layed on her bed. "So peaceful. So quiet." Patsy said as she opened up the sports magazine. The peace & quiet was soon interrupted. "I see that you're readin' the magazine with the naked dudes, once again." said a voice. Patsy looked up to see it was Penny. "Penny, shut up!" Patsy attacked. "So Patsy, do you wanna go outside and play ball?" Penny asked. "Play ball? It's too damn cold to play basketball, Penny." Patsy said. "It's not too cold." Penny said. "It's warmer than usual out, but you might need to put a jacket on though." "Alright then, Penny. I'll come play ball with you." Patsy said as she put on her jacket. "It's time to take you to school in basketball!" Penny teased. "Shut up! I'll sweep up the floor with your ass!" Patsy said. "Yeah right!" Penny said. "Do you remember the last time I played basketball with you?"

_**(Flashback)  
**_Penny & Patsy was playing basketball. Penny was points ahead of Patsy. Patsy was guarding Penny.

Patsy: Come on, Penny. Make a move!  
Penny: Okay!

She went one way. Patsy accidently went the other. Penny went for the layup. She makes the shot.

Penny: Ha! You suck at guardin' Patsy!  
Patsy: You'd just got lucky, Penny. Wait until you make the next shot, I'll break your leg!  
Penny:(bounces ball) Ha! I would like to see you try!

Patsy had the ball. Penny was guarding her.

Patsy: Okay, try and stop me!  
Penny: Okay I will!

Patsy was going for the layup, but Penny knocked the ball from her hand.

Patsy: Damn!  
Penny:(picks up ball) It's my turn!

Penny had the ball, and Patsy was doing her best to guard, & block Penny. Penny was going for the layup. Patsy poked her leg out, and she tripped Penny.

Penny:(holds her leg in pain) **OW!! SHIT!!  
**Patsy:(concerned) D-Did I break your leg?  
Penny: **YES!! YOU BROKE IT!!**

Patsy bend down towards her.

Patsy: I'm sorry, Penny. I-I didn't mean to break your leg.  
Penny: **WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'THAT YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO'?! YOU MEANT TO!!  
**Patsy: D-Don't worry, Penny. I'll help you.

She helps Penny up. Penny starts 'crying'.

Patsy: Don't cry, Penny. It'll be okay. Can I do anything for you?  
Penny: C-Can you get my sports bottle?  
Patsy: Sure.

She carefully sat Penny down, and gets her sports bottle. When Patsy was out of sight, Penny stood up & laughed.

Penny: Ha! Ha! Sucker! She fell for it!!

She grabbed the ball and made the shot. Patsy heard Penny laughing from the other side of the ball court.

Patsy: What's so funny, Penn...

She turns to see Penny standing, and laughing her ass off.

Penny:(laughing) L-Looks like I beat you again, Patsy! Looks like you owe me 200 bucks! HA! HA! HA!  
Patsy:(growls) **WHY?!  
_(End Flashback)_**

At the basketball court, it was already taken. "Well, looks like the court is already taken." Patsy said. "Damn! I really wanted to _beat_ you in basketball, too!" Penny sniffed. "Well do you want to go and make fun of Stewie's full first name again?" Patsy asked her. Penny thought about it. "You can go ahead, Patsy. I think I'll go wash my ride." Penny said. "It's a good day for it!" Meanwhile, Lazlo was laying in his bed reading the newspaper. "I wonder what am I gonna do this morning?" he wondered out loud. He thought about this a bit. "_Maybe I can hang with Stewie & Patsy? Or maybe hang with Patsy &_ _Penny? Yeah, that's it!_" Then there was a knock on his cabin door. He answered it. It was Penny. "What's up, G?" she asked. "Hi Penny." Lazlo greeted. "How are you?" "I'm doin' fine, dawg." Penny said. "Uh, where's Patsy?" Lazlo asked. "She's busy teasin' Stewie." Penny said. "So, what do you want?" Lazlo asked. "I wanted to ask you if you wanna go to our party tonight?" "Another party?" he asked. Penny nodded. "Where's it gonna by held?" "It's gonna be held at da nightclub that you, me, & Patsy went to dat one time. Just in case dat Mario kid or dat Joker bastard decides to invite half of the town, again." Penny explained. "Okay. I'll come to your New Years party." Lazlo said. "So what do you wanna do in the meanwhile?" Penny asked him. "How 'bout we go to the poolroom? I'll teach you how to do my shot." Lazlo asked. "Okay, G." Penny said.

Meanwhile at his quarters, Stewie was reading the Iran nuclear secrets he got for Christmas. "I say, it says there are some nuclear weapons buried under the Irasel border, and Saudi Arabia oil fields!!" he exclaimed. There was a knock on his door. "Come in! The bloody door's not locked!!" he sniffed. Patsy walked in. "Hi Stewie." she greeted. "I say, it's that Patsy girl. What do you want?" Stewie demanded. "I just came to spend time with you." Patsy said. "Oh! W-Well, sit down then." Stewie said. So she sat down. "I see that you're readin' those Iran nuclear secrets that Nina got ya." "Yes! There's plenty of information that the UN & the US missed out on of!" Stewie sniffed loudly. "I'm not too surprised." Patsy said. "Look who's leadin' them."

_**(Cut to the Oval office)  
**_George W. Bush was sitting in a high-chair. He was eating a sucker.

Bush:(licks his sucker) Condi, can you please come in here?

Condoleezza Rice walks in.

Rice:(groans) What do you want now, sir?  
Bush: Can you turn the TV to _'Sesame Street'_? Elmo's gonna teach me how to be annoying.  
Rice: _'Sesame Street'_? Elmo? Sir, we're suppose to be looking for nuclear weapons of mass destruction in Iran & Iraq, not watching some red annoying ass puppet!

Bush:(about to cry) Please Condi? I'll do that thing that you like.  
Rice:(groans again) Alright!!

She turns the TV on to _'Sesame Street'_. Elmo appears on TV.

_(Cut to TV)_  
Elmo: Hi kids.  
Bush:(waves at TV) Hi Elmo!  
Elmo: Elmo's gonna be annoying to the grown-ups, & other muppets today. You can do this at home, too!

He starts annoying the hell out of Gordon, Luis, & Oscar the grouch.

Elmo: Hi Gordon! Hi Luis! Hi Oscar! Do you wanna play with Elmo? Huh? Do you? Huh? Do you?

Gordon: Oh god! **I can't stand this bastard anymore!!  
**Luis: I quit! I'm gonna star on _'The George Lopez show'_ !!

He walks off. Elmo goes near Oscar.

Elmo: Hey Oscar! Do you wanna say the alphabet with Elmo? Huh? Do you? Huh? Huh? Do you? Huh?  
Oscar: **SHUT THE FUCK UP!! I'M SICK & TIRED OF YO' ASS!! TWENTY THREE YEARS IS LONG ENOUGH!!** Come Gordon, let's kill him!!

Gordon: A pleasure!!

Gordon & Oscar beats up Elmo.

Elmo:(laughs) Whee! This is fun!!  
Oscar:(throws punch) Shut the hell up!!  
_(End TV cut)  
_Bush: Ha! Ha! Ha! That Elmo feller's funny! Come Condi, let me tongue-kiss those ebony lips.  
Rice:(disgusted) Oh god!

Bush tongue-kissed Rice. Rice then passes out.

Bush: Women always pass out when I tongue-kiss them. Always.  
_**(End Cut)**_

"Well that's what the american people get for voting for a douche from the heart of Texas." Stewie said. "Yeah." Patsy muttered. There was a disturbing silence. Patsy broke the silence. "Say Stewie." "What?" he asked. "Do you want to go to mine & Penny's New Years party tonight?" she asked. "Yes! I shall join your little, what do you kids call it? Oh yes! Your _heezy_!" Stewie said. "Okay then." Patsy said as she got up from Stewie's bed. Then she turned towards him. "You do know where the nightclub is, don't you?" "Sure. Of course!" Stewie laughed. Patsy left. "I'm gonna be the hot shit just like Kevin Federline, except without Brittney Spears attach to my croutch, and the awful ghetto attitude." Stewie said.

At the poolroom, Lazlo was setting up the balls, and Penny was getting the cue sticks. "Time to play a little game." she said, then she turned to Lazlo. "Do you wanna play for fun or profit?" "Well since this is a lesson, we're gonna play for fun." Lazlo stated. "Okay." Penny said. The so-called game started. Penny made some easy shots, and Lazlo made some easy shots, also. Finally, a little bit later, there was couple of balls left. "Alright Penny." Lazlo said. "It's time to show you my special trick. Can you tie my arm, and get that blindfold?" "Sure." Penny said as she got the rope and the blindfold. She tied his arm to his back, and tied the blindfold over his eyes. "Is this right?" she asked. "Yep!" Lazlo said. "Now give me the cue stick." Penny gave him the cue stick. "Okay Penny, is the cue stick lined up with the balls?" "Yes." Penny said. So Lazlo with his free arm, hit the remaining balls. The balls went into the corner pocket. "That was neat!" Penny exclaimed as she untied the blindfold from Lazlo's eyes. "See? It's easy, Penny. It's all in the wrist. It's all in the wrist." he said. After Penny untied his arm, Lazlo gave her the cue stick. "Do you wanna try?" "Yeah!" Penny said. Lazlo then tied her arm to her back, and tied the blindfold over her eyes. "There!" he said. "Remember Penny, it's all in the wrist." So Penny made the shot, and the balls went in the side corner pocket. "That was perfect! Hell, it was even better than mine's!" Lazlo exclaimed, as he untied her arm. "Thanks, G." Penny said as she untied the blindfold of her eyes. "So, uh what do you wanna do now?" Lazlo asked. "We could go watch TV?" Penny suggested. "That's sounds like an wise idea, Penny." Lazlo said. "I'll get Patsy, and meet us back at our cabin." Penny said.

Patsy was at her 2005 model _GMC S-15 jet black Jimmy 4x4_. She was washing all the salt, mud, & grime off of it. "There! Clean as Paris Hilton." she said, then she thought of something. "_Wait! Paris ain't clean! She's still somewhat of a crack smokin' slut!_ Okay, my ride's cleaner than Paris Hilton! That's better!" Penny walks up. "I see that you're washin' & polishin' yo' ride, Patsy." she said. "Yep." Patsy said as she put down the polish. "So what do you want?" "I just wanted to ask if you wanted to watch TV?" Penny asked. "Yeah. Sure." Patsy said as she picked up the cleaning supplies. "I hope something good's on." "Probably." Penny said. Patsy looked around. "Where's Lazlo?" "I think he's gettin' us some snacks." Penny said. Then she thought of something. "Wasn't that a episode title at one time?" "What was?" Patsy asked. "_Where's Lazlo_?" Penny said. "It is." Patsy said. "It's one of the worst episodes ever!" "Why?" Penny asked her. "Well, _I_ wasn't in it. Plus it was just plain boring." Patsy muttered. Penny laughed. "I hated that episode, too. Come Patsy, let's go." On the way to their cabin, Patsy was wondering out loud. "Have you noticed, there's a lot of breaking the fourth wall moments in this story, Penny?" "Yep." Penny answered. "I don't care, just as long they're funny."

At their cabin, Patsy turned on the TV, and Penny took out the _TV guide_. "So, what do you wanna watch?" Patsy asked. "Well, the guide says the _'Flavor_ _of Love'_ is about to come on." Penny said. "Okay." Patsy said as she turned to _VH1_. Soon after, Lazlo walked in. He was carrying chips, & soda. "I got the snacks, guys." "'Bout time. Me & Patsy was about to starve to death." Penny teased. "Hey, did I tell you guys, that I was one of the girls on that _'Flavor of Love'_ show?" Patsy asked. "No." Lazlo said. "Yeah right!" Penny said. "I swear to god, I was!" Patsy said. "Which season?" Lazlo asked. "1st." Patsy said. "I was the one that was called, 'Fire'."

_**(Flashback)  
**_Patsy was one of the girls on _'The Flavor of Love'_. She & the other two girls was standing, waiting for Flavor Flav to eliminate one of them. Patsy was nervous.

Patsy:(muttering to herself) I-I hope I don't get eliminated.

Then Flavor Flav, and his bodyguard & driver "Big Rick" walks up with three clocks.

Flavor Flav: Okay ladies. It's time to pick which two girls are gonna go on a trip with moi, and which one to send home.

All three girls gulped nervously.

Flav:(grabs one of gold clock) Hoops, come get your clock.

'Hoops' gets her clock. The other two girls was nervous.

Flav:(grabs another clock) I like the way, you girls shake, G. New York come get your clock.

'New York' comes get her clock. She hugs him.

New York: Thank you, Flav. honey.

Flav then turns to Patsy.

Flav: Well, it's looks like it's the end of the road for you, 'Fire.  
Patsy('Fire'): Damn it!  
Flav: Are we still cool?  
Patsy: Yeah, sure.

Patsy then walks away, defeated as the two remaining girls laughed & cheered. "Big Rick" gives Flavor Flav a bottle of champange.

Flav: This is for 'Fire'.

He pours the champange on his purple rug. Hoops & New York laughed some more. Outside, Patsy was being interviewed.

Patsy: Well, since my dream of being with an rap artist has been ruined by that slut, New York!! I guess I have to go back to my first love.

She takes out a small photo of Lazlo.

Patsy:(kisses the photo) Oh Lazlo, I love you so much! I kinda like the name 'Fire'. I think I'll keep it! I think I'll keep this hairstyle too! It makes me look sexy! Wait till Lazlo see me in this hairstyle, he'll go wild!  
_**(End Flashback)**_

"So you was 'Fire' eh?" Lazlo teased. "Well, y-yeah." Patsy said as she blushed a bit. "We've been callin' her 'Fire' days after she got back!" Penny teased. An hour after _'The Flavor of Love'_ went off, Patsy changed the channel. "The guide also said, _'The PJs'_ are comin' on." Penny said. "On what channel?" Patsy asked. "It's on the local _FOX_ station." Penny answered. So Patsy turned the channel to the _FOX_ station. "I love this show!" Lazlo exclaimed. "I love this show, too." Patsy said. "It's too bad that Eddie Murphy lefted the show, and let they Phil Morris do the voice for Thurgood." Penny sniffed. "Yeah. That wasn't an wise idea." Lazlo sniffed. "Phil Morris should only do the Jackie Childs character, and that's it!" Patsy added. "Yeah." the other two said. The show came on. "It's the one when Super kills Ms. Avery." Penny exclaimed. "This is a funny one!" Patsy said.

_**(Cut to 'The PJs')  
**_Thurgood was walking through the halls at the projects. He was getting everyone's rent.

Thurgood:(knocks on door) Hey Jimmy! Gimme yo' rent!

The door opens. A korean man wearing a blue suit walks out.

Jimmy: I'm sorry, bro. I don't have it.  
Thurgood: Why don't you have it?  
Jimmy: Because the man's always wantin' the black man's money for taxes.  
Thurgood: Jimmy, for the one millionth time, you're not **BLACK!!  
**Jimmy: Whatever!

Thurgood then goes to Ms. Avery's apartment. He puts on a bulletproof vest, and takes out a gun.

Thurgood:(knocks on door) Ms. Avery, it's me the super.  
Ms. Avery: What the hell do you want?  
Thurgood: I'm here to collect yo' rent.  
Ms. Avery: **Drop dead!!**

Thurgood then opens the door that leads to Ms. Avery's apartment. He walks in.

Thurgood: God! It stinks in here!!

A gray-haired woman wearing glasses and a blue gown comes up to him. She also had a shotgun.

Ms. Avery: **Ha!!** Got ya!! Make one move, and I'll send ya to Jesus!!  
Thurgood: I'm just here to collect the rent, Ms. Avery. I don't want any trouble.  
Ms. Avery: You want the rent, eh? Well you have to get it from my wallet, from my dead cold body!  
Thurgood:(angry) **Okay, fine!!**

He then knocks the shotgun from Ms. Avery's hands, and knocks her on the floor.

Thurgood:(pulls out his gun) **MS. AVERY, I'M SICK & TIRED OF YO' ASS!! I'M GONNA PUT YOU OUT OF YO' MISERY!!**

He then loads a round of bullets into Ms. Avery. She was dead.

Thurgood:(puts his gun away) Hmmpth! That'll teach her, not to mess with da Super!

He then picks up her wallet, and takes the rent money. He walks away. Smokey then appears from out of nowhere.

Smokey:(not noticing Ms. Avery's dead body) Oh look, a wallet!!

He picks up the wallet. He counts the remaining money.

Smokey: 30 dollars? I'm rich!  
**_(End cut)_**

Meanwhile, Peter was in his office. He was taking a nap, when Brain walked in. The door slamming woke him up. "**I'm up!! I'm up!!**" he shouted. He turned to Brain. "So, uh, what do you want?" "Peter, that Joker kid's out there beatin' up some of the nobodys for their money." Brain explained. "Yeah so?" Peter asked. "So, do I send him in or not?" Brain asked. "Send him in." Peter ordered. Brain sent the young man in. "So Joker. That is your name, right?" Peter asked. "Yeah, ese!" Joker said. "Well, Mr. Joker. I've heard that you been beatin' up the background characters, am I right?" "Yeah, ese! It's true." Joker said. Peter got up, and turned to him. "**You are a mad man!** Did you give them wedgies?" "Yeah. It was funny, ese!" Joker laughed. "Me an' dat Mario gave them vatos wedgies!" Peter laughed. "Those background losers are a waste of animation." "Yeah!" Joker said. Then there was silence. "Well nice meetin' ya, Mr. Joker." Peter said. "Sure whatever, homes." Joker said. "I guess it's time to get ready for that party!" Peter said.

Later, it was getting dark. Everyone was getting ready to go to the nightclub. Patsy & Penny was putting on their clubbin' clothes. "I hope you're not gonna get _drunk_ at the club again, Penny?" Patsy asked as she put on her diamond bracelet. "No, but I'm gonna drink a little bit." Penny said, as she tied her shoes. Gretchen was getting into her clubbin' clothes, also. "It's 'bout time, that I have _a_ part in this chapter!" she sniffed. "Well anyway, Quaggie & me are gonna drink until the clock strikes twelve!" Patsy & Penny laughed. "What the hell are you two bitches laughin' at?!" Gretchen sniffed. "You can't drink until midnight." Patsy giggled. "Yeah. You'll drink yo'self to a alcohol coma before midnight!" Penny laughed. "**Do you wanna make a bet?!**" Gretchen shouted. Penny looked at Patsy. She nodded. "Okay then, Gretchen. I'll bet you 50 bucks, that you don't make it until midnight." "Okay!" Gretchen said. "**Wait, Penny!**" Patsy shouted. "I wanna bet some money, too!" Then she took out a 100 bill. "I bet you a 100 dollars, that you & Quagmire can't drink or stay awake until midnight!" Gretchen looked at the money in Patsy's hand. "Alright, it's a deal!" she said oily.

Peter was getting ready. "I hope we get in that bar tonight, 'cause I don't feel like standin' in a line all night." he sniffed. Cleveland walks in. "Are you gettin' ready, my tubby white brother?" "Yeah. Cleveland." Peter said. Then he turned to Cleveland. "Okay, I'm ready." "Alright let's go." Cleveland said. Brain, & Joe was waiting at Peter's car. "Hey! Where's Quagmire?" he asked. "Oh! Quagmire's going to the party at the nightclub with Gretchen." Brain said. "Oh I see!" Peter sniffed. "Come on guys, let's go!" Joe said. Peter started up the car. "I wonder if the camp's gonna be alright?" he wondered. "Don't worry, Peter. Everyone's going to the nightclub to ring in the new year." Brain said. "Oh." Peter said. "If the line at the bar's too long, we can always join them at the night club."

At the nightclub, most of the campers were standing in line. Most of them already went in. Lazlo, Raj, & Clam was some of the ones still standing in line. "Lazlo, we've been standin' in this line for almost thirty minutes." Raj whined. "When are we gettin' in?" "Don't worry guys, we'll get in." Lazlo said. "I hope so, Lazlo. Because it'll be a waste of my night, if we stood here for the whole evening." Raj said in his annoying accent. "Wasted night!" Clam said. "God! What morons!" Lazlo muttered to himself. The line was moving pretty quickly. "Oh good! The line's moving at a sensible pace. We'll be in there in no time!" Raj said. Just like Raj said, they were next. "Come Lazlo! We gotta get a table!" "You guys go ahead. I'll just wait for Penny & Patsy." Lazlo said. "Okay then. Come Clam." Raj said. "**Party!!**" Clam shouted stupidly. After waiting for a while, Lazlo started to get a bit anxious. "Gee, I wonder what's taking them?" When he got done saying that, Patsy, Penny, & Gretchen walks up. "What took you guys so long?" he asked. "Traffic." Patsy said. "If you guys excuse me, I'll be drinkin' with Quaggie!" Gretchen huffed. Penny looked at Lazlo thoroughly. "You look handsome tonight, G." she said. "Thanks, Penny." he replied. "Come guys, let's get a table." Patsy said. "Maybe by Gretchen & Quagmire." Inside, Raj & Clam was at a table, that happened to be next to Quagmire & Gretchen. "**Hey guys!! Over here!!**" Raj called out. "I see that you guys got a table by those liquor drinkin' bastards." Patsy said. "Good. We can keep an eye on them, so they won't chicken out from their bet." Penny added.

Meanwhile, Peter, Cleveland, Joe & Brain was standing in the line. The line was longer than it was last week. "See? I told yo' fat ass that this line'll be longer than it was last week!!" Cleveland sniffed. "Yeah, **this sucks!!**" Joe shouted. "Now don't worry, guys. This line will start movin'." Peter said. Just like Peter said, the line started moving, and pretty quickly, too. "See? I told ya!" Peter bragged. The guys was up next in line. "Sorry. Bar's full!" the bouncer said. "**Dammit!!**" Joe shouted. "I somehow _knew_ this was gonna happen!!" Cleveland sniffed. "Thank you for fuckin' up another evening, Peter!" Brain attacked. "The evening's not ruined yet, guys." Peter said. "We can still go to the party at the nightclub with the campers." "**Okay, as long we get to drink** **beer!!**" Joe shouted.

Back at the nightclub, everyone was either up & dancing or sitting & drinking. "Boy, this joint is sure is jumpin'!" Raj said to Lazlo. "See, I told ya!" Lazlo bragged. "_**Player's club!!**_" Clam shouted. Gretchen & Quagmire was drinking. "See? Easy! I can do this bet!!" Gretchen burped as she sat down an empty beer bottle. "What bet?" Quagmire asked as he sipped his bottle. "Oh, it's just this silly bet that Patsy & Penny made. They bet that we couldn't drink all the way till midnight." Gretchen explained. "Been there. Done that!!" Quagmire said. "How much money did they bet?" "Together, they bet 150 bucks!!" Gretchen said. "_150?!_ What are we doin' yakin' for? **Start drinkin'!!**" Quagmire shouted as he drunk two beers at once. Penny & Patsy was watching this unfold. "Oh snap! Looks like we have to give them the money, Patsy." Penny muttered. "Don't fret, Penny." Patsy said. "The evening's still young, and they'll pass out way before midnight." Peter, Joe, Cleveland, & Brain walks in. "I wonder if the beer here is good?" Peter asked. "Probably." Brain said. "Let's just go and party already!" Cleveland sniffed. "Oh my gawd!!" Gretchen exclaimed. "What?" Quagmire asked. "I thought I just saw that dawg, the black dude, wheelchair man, and that human trash compacter!" she explained. Quagmire looked around. "I don't see them. You need to stop smokin' that stuff!" Stewie was sitting at a table with Mario & Joker. "I say, Joker. Where did you come from?" "What you mean, ese?" Joker asked. "I mean, why are you here in this story?" Stewie asked. "Oh, I'm here, because Edward's still on vacation, ese!" Joker said. "Oh!" Well, keep up the good work, then." Stewie said, and left. Mario woke up. "Oooh! Was-a that-a foot-a-ball-a talkin'?" "You need to stay off dat crack, ese!" Joker sniffed.

It was getting closer to midnight now. Gretchen & Quagmire was drunk now. "I-I think I got alcohol poisoning, G-Gretchen." Quagmire said weakly. "**Shut** **up and k-keep d-drinking!!**" Gretchen sniffed. Penny & Patsy was enjoying this. "See. They're gettin' tired, Penny." Patsy said to her. "I guess you was right, Patsy." Penny said. After a few more beers, Quagmire passed out with a loud _'clank'_. "Heh! Heh! One down, one to go!" Penny laughed. Several more drinks later, Gretchen was getting drunker & drunker. Lazlo was concerned. "Uh, Gretchen. I think it'll be a wise thing if you stop drinking." "Shut the h-hell up!! I-I-I be the one to..." Gretchen started before passing out on the table. "Well looks like we win the bet!" Patsy said. "At least I get to keep my 50 dead presidents!" Penny said happily. "I think Quagmire & Gretchen's not the only one passed out." Lazlo said. Peter, Raj, Stewie, Clam, & a few nobodys were passed out from drinking & partying. "This is like at Lil' Jon's backyard parties." Penny said.

_**(Cut to Lil' Jon's backyard)  
**_Lil' Jon was at his grill grilling some burgers, ribs, & stuff like that. The party was going well, until one of his apprentices runs up.

Apprentice: Lil' Jon! Lil' Jon! All of the guests are passin' out, yo!  
Lil' Jon: What?  
Apprentice: The guests are passin' out!  
Lil' Jon: What?  
Apprentice: Everyone's asleep!  
Lil' Jon: **Yeah!!** That's my patented party drink! It'll knock yo' ass out!  
Apprentice: People drink this stuff, G?  
Lil' Jon: What?  
Apprentice: People drink this stuff?  
Lil' Jon: What?  
Apprentice: Do people actually drink this stuff, son?  
Lil' Jon: **Yeah!!**  
Apprentice: I quit.  
Lil' Jon: What?  
Apprentice: I quit!  
Lil' Jon: What?  
Apprentice: I'm quittin!  
Lil' Jon: **Okay!!  
_(End cut)_**

"Ooooh! Six-a minutes left-a until-a 2008!" Mario shouted. The remaining, awake party goers started to cheer. "My New years resolution will be to train myself to be a better dice player, ese!" Joker said. "My resolution is to give up on alcohol!" Brain said. "Mine's is-a to get-a rid-a of this-a stereotypical italian a-voice-a!" Mario said. "My resolution is being able to walk this year!" Joe shouted. "Mine's are to be a popular character!" said a nobody. Everybody just looked at him. "You're _not_ gonna do a damn thing!!" Brain sniffed. "Hey, I can dream." said the loser. "Well my resolution is to get more bling to wear, and get richer!" Penny said. "Patsy, how 'bout you?" She turned to see Patsy gone. "Well, how 'bout you, Lazlo, G?" Lazlo was gone too. "Where the hell are they?" she asked. Then a thought popped into her head. "Uh huh!" she said. She grabbed her jacket, and left just as everybody else started counting the final seconds to 2008.

Patsy & Lazlo was at her 4x4. She had took out some cans of soda. Lazlo looked at his watch. "Good bye 2007, and hello 2008!" he said happily. Patsy stood next to him. "Do I get my first kiss of 2008, dear?" she asked in a sexy voice. "Of course, beautiful!" Lazlo said. They kissed. The kissing ended when Penny walked up. "I see why ya'll left the club early. You wanted to be alone." she teased. "Shut up!" Patsy sniffed. "So Patsy. What are your New year's resolution?" Lazlo asked. "I don't have one. I think those are stupid!" Patsy said. "Yeah, those are _kind_ of stupid." Lazlo said. "I've just heard some stupid ones back at da club!" Penny said. "That Mario kid said that he's gonna get rid of his accent." "That's so stupid!" Patsy said. "I kinda like his accent. It's funny!" Lazlo added. "A background dweeb wanted to be a popular character!" Penny laughed. Patsy & Lazlo laughed loudly. "**Like that's gonna** **happen!!**" Lazlo said. The laughing soon stopped. "I wonder what's gonna happen to us in 2008?" Patsy wondered. "Probably the same type of stories. With flashbacks, cuts, & breakin' the fourth wall moments." Lazlo said. "Probably some more hilarious flashbacks from our family members, Patsy." Penny added. "And probably more guest stars, & funny antics from Scoutmaster Griffin." "Maybe some more romantic moments between you & me, Lazlo dear." Patsy said to him. "Damn, this is gonna be one _hell_ of a year!" Lazlo exclaimed. Penny ran off back to the club. Patsy grabbed Lazlo's arm. "Happy New Year, honey." she said in a sexy voice. "Happy New Year to you too, sweetie." Lazlo said. "I love you, Lazlo." Patsy said, still in sexy voice. "I love you too, Patsy." Lazlo replied.

_**(Audience Applauses)  
**_It shows a freeze frame of Peter asleep in front of a TV.  
Special guest stars:  
Tracy McGrady as himself

Joesph Marcell as Geoffery

Judge Glenda Hatchett as herself

Dr. Phil as himself

Maury Povich as himself

Lela Rochon as Lela Smiles

Vanessa Baden as Kyla Smiles

Jacob Vargas as Joker

Garrett Morris as himself

Sherman Hemsley as himself

Michael Richards as himself

Leah Remini as herself

Demond Wilson as Lamont Sanford

_Boston Celtics, Orlando Magic, Detroit Pistons, NY Knicks, Utah Jazz, & Phoneix Suns_ as themselves

Kevin Clash as Elmo

Roscoe Orman as Gordon

Emilio Delgado as Luis

Carroll Spinney as Oscar

Flavor Flav as himself

Tiffany 'New York' Pollard as herself

Nicole 'Hoops' Alexander as herself

Big Rick as himself

Phil Morris as Thurgood Stubbs

Ja'net Du Bois as Ms. Avery

Shawn Michael Howard as Smokey

Lil' Jon as himself  
&

Alicia Keyes as Annette 'Penny' Smiles, & Diane Smiles

_'Good Times'_ closing theme plays.

Mmmmmmm.  
Just lookin' out of the window.  
Watchin' the asphalt grow.  
Thinkin' how it all looks hand-me-down.  
Good Times, yeah, yeah Good Times

Keepin' your head above water Makin' a wave when you can.  
Temporary lay offs.-Good Times.

Peter: _'Camp Griffin'_ was recorded in front of a live studio audience.  
Easy credit rip offs.-Good Times.  
Ain't we lucky we got 'em - Good Times.

The End


End file.
